Quick Catching Up

I just checked on my blog and somehow a whole month has passed since I posted? I guess that gives you an idea of what life has been like around here!

To catch you up:

Catie’s period FINALLY stopped. Even better, her hemoglobin is back up to normal range. We’ve switched meds to try something new and see if we can have less side-effects from the medication. It’s only been a few days, so the jury is out. I love our new nurse practitioner through duPont.

Laura, on the other hand, is going quite downhill. She met with a neurology nurse practitioner this month and had had an EEG. She has an MRI on Wednesday. In the meantime, she’s been starting a sentence, stopping in the middle of it and doing nothing until I prompt her with part of the sentence. It’s quite unnerving and is making me think seizures. We’ll see what the MRI and EEG show.

(The boys are doing well, thank goodness!)

I’ve started bible study on Thursday mornings at what will hopefully be our new church. We visited a few times off and on, but have struggled to make it a regularly-scheduled Sunday morning thing. One fun thing about bible study–there’s a large group of women, who break up into smaller groups. One gal who “happens” to live in my neighborhood (where we still don’t know anyone!) is part of my small group!

Jim and I are going away next weekend to Jim Thorpe, PA. This will be our 4th time going to their Fall Festival, but our first time actually staying in the town. We’re both very excited about getting away, and the kids are thrilled to spent the weekend with Nana. Win-win!

I’m very definitely back into the swing of driving kids to and fro, with their doctor visits, drama practice and work thrown in the mix this year. I try to remind myself that this is a season–even next year will be very different!–but sometimes it’s a little overwhelming.

 

Another Day…Shows Its Face

I’m half awake, half in space. And if you told me I was beautiful well that would just be in poor taste.

Hah. Sorry. The title just naturally led into the lyrics. For those who are clueless, that’s Pomplamoose’s Another Day. Excellent Song!

So, Day 2! Definite improvement. Well, until  dinner, anyway.

Ethan needs to get up at 6:15 to have enough time to get ready for the day. I got him up at 6 instead. Because that way I had the time to BE PATIENT and SHOW HIM the steps he needed to be shown to DO THINGS HIMSELF. Thankyouverymuch!

Let’s see….we explored the silverware drawer, got out a fork and knife. We cut up the sausage together again. We worked on getting a spoon under the tab of his Pediasure and popping it open. Still not sure he’s strong enough, but we’ll keep at it. He carried his food and drink and can over to the table and was actually very proud of himself. Which I LOVED and definitely want to encourage. I think the next time I do the dishwasher and he’s home I’m going to have him put the silverware away. We’ll have to figure out the sharp knives, but other than that I think he can handle it.

Go me! 🙂

In other excellent news, I finally just sat my butt down and started reading Matthew. It’s been way too long and I’ve been actually somewhat paralyzed, not knowing where to start. Stupid, I know! So today I figured, well, if my point is to live my life like Jesus, I’d better remind myself what His life was like. And oh, it was wonderful. My spirit was just so happy. It’s been so dry and so awful for so long….first there was just no desire at all. Then there was a little bit, but I actually fought it. Then there was more and I didn’t know what to do and lacked the self-discipline. That’s been, like, the whole freaking last YEAR. Not kidding. So a few steps forward in a few good places. WooHoo!

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. It’s FALL! Well, ok, IF YOU WANT TO BE TECHNICAL, it will be fall on Sunday. But here in Southeastern PA, IT’S FALL! I sleep with my windows open and the quilt on. I sometimes need a jacket if I’m going out. The sky is starting to show that amazing BLUE that only happens in the fall and winter, jeans are making an appearance. It’s WONDERFUL.

2. Except for The Great Wardrobe Changeover. That’s the one thing I dread over and over and over as the years go by. Trying on clothes, buying clothes, getting rid of clothes, putting summer clothes into bins and fall/winter clothes into drawers times four kids and two parents.

3. We are finishing up our 3rd week of cyber school and it’s still relatively easy. I keep waiting for the 6-8 hours at the computer that they warned us about this summer at orientation. So far it hasn’t happened. The kids are learning. They have projects, tests, regular lessons etc. But it’s all accomplished in WAY less time than 1) I’d been warned and 2) public school. Makes me wonder what happens all those hours that the kids are stuck in school!

4. Jim and are starting to plan our 18th anniversary weekend away. For the first time we’ll be going to historic Philadelphia. I’ve lived near it for nigh on 45 years and have NEVER EVER done the sights. How ridiculous is that? I’m looking forward to seeing the Liberty Bell and where our Constitution was signed and where Ben Franklin lived etc. And, of course, eating some amazing food. Because one of the positives of cities are their amazing plethora of food choices. Which here in the boonies we don’t get. Our here only one place delivers pizza!

5. I had my semi-annual bloodwork and appointment with my endocrinologist. She, in a nice, gentle way, yelled at me. I have high cholesterol and high triglycerides (which are going to put a little bit of a crimp in the above-mentioned eating!) and desperately need to lose some weight. Oh, yay! Because that’s SO EASY with PCOS! i’m starting two new medications (one is a fancy fish oil and the other is a weight-loss thingy). One of which my insurance point-blank refuses to cover. Because they’d rather I be overweight and out of shape?

6. I went to Bible Study last night! It’s on Brave: Honest Questions Women Ask. I’m much more used to ‘book studies” where you take a book of the bible and work your way through it. But since I haven’t been part of a bible study for several years and I really want to find a place in our new church (which we haven’t visited ALL SUMMER!), I figured I’d start here. Just meeting with other Christian gals was nice. And being reminded of Jeremiah 6:16 helped as well:

This is what the Lord says:

“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.

7. Have you ever done that? Been so touched by a verse and then completely forgotten about it for years and then have it hit you anew? That was me last night and this morning. Being intentional in my choices. Thinking through my actions before doing them. Counting the cost and then obeying. And finding rest for my soul, because honestly–obedience just feels GOOD!

Blessings on you today.

Relationship with a Spirit

You want real? Really Real? Here it is.

I grew up in the church. Went from the moment of conception onward. Sunday school, baptism, church choir, etc. Changed churches at 17 to worship with my friends (although stayed Baptist). Did the Sunday school thing some more, the youth group thing, and finally met God. Turned my life over to him. Don’t know if it was getting saved or rededication. I had always believed, but it had never made a difference. Grew. Grew like Crazy. Started dating Jim and changed churches to worship in his church. Non-denominational. Grew some more. Got married and started to try to get pregnant. After a lot of help, finally got pregnant. Had four children at 25 weeks, lost one, had one be blind and not eat, had two on oxygen, had one with a colostomy.

This was NOT THE PLAN. Life wasn’t perfect. God let us down. We didn’t get it–or Him–and turned away. Stopped going to church, stopped growing, stopped following, everything. Life was about survival.

2005, January. We knew, for whatever reason, that the kids should be in church. We went to a few different ones, but ended up at a lovely, nurturing sweet church. I sat in that pew, week after week, angry or just indifferent. God kept knocking. Finally made the decision of will, that regardless of how I felt, I believed God was a good God. I would set aside my feelings and follow Him again. I started praying, started not being so angry, started following.

2013. April. There is no closeness. There is no growth. There is a desire, oh, yes, a desire. But a complete lack of how to get that closeness. Bible study, when I try, is dryer than the Sahara. It’s just reading words on a page–filling in blanks in a book. The pastor on Sunday talked about how Jesus was the Way, the Truth and the Life. The life part was supposed to be abundant. Mine’s not. I haven’t admitted that openly, but there it is. I want it to be. Honestly I do. And I feel like, by this point in my life I should know how to do it, like if I follow the bullet points of pray, read my bible, listen to Christian music, then I’ll get there.

I miss God. I miss that joy, that growth, that abundance of a depth of relationship with God. Any suggestions, people?

Quiet Time Conviction

Way back when in January of 2010 I started a personal bible study on 1 Peter, Putting On a Gentle and Quiet Spirit.

Stop laughing. I’m serious.

Yeah, I get the irony. I’m rather the opposite of gentle and quietly spiritual. Which is exactly why I picked it.

Fast forward, um, almost a year and a half. (I’m nothing if not NOT regular.) I Peter 2:21-25. The book I’m doing has you read the passage, answer questions about the passage, and then “Your Heart’s Answer.” Sometimes it’s, well, dull. Not this time.

– We know that Jesus committed no sin. To follow in His steps, what known sins will you eliminate from your life? Pornography. Almost three months and counting, people.

– We know that Jesus spoke no sin. What steps will you take to control your speech? Count to 10 before I yell.

Um, notsomuch. I SCREAMED at Laura this morning. At the top of my lungs. How can one 9 year old make me lose it so quickly?

Both Jim and I agree it’s been much more difficult lately with the kids….they are definitely challenging the boundaries and our patience with things. It’s a constant struggle to keep my temper (and I lose it more quickly with them to begin with).

This Your Heart’s Answer has really been pounding at me all week. Sometimes I’ve done better because of it. Sometimes, like this morning, utter failure.

Tomorrow will hopefully (and prayerfully) be one of those better days. (Unless we’re raptured, and then all will be well anyway) (sorry, I just had to put that out there!)

Intention

I’m all about good intentions. But if it doesn’t get written down, it doesn’t get done. Life will always intrude (especially in the form of the internet!).

So, if I’m being honest, and since this is anonymous why not, I haven’t been intentional with reading the bible. In MONTHS. I’ll think about it the night before and say, “Oh, at 9:00 I’ll have a quiet time”. Then 9:00 comes and goes and poof, before you know it, it’s 3:55 and the kids are home. I cleaned and did laundry and did errands, but God got pushed to the side.

So right now, before I do anything else except press “Publish”, I’m starting my To Do List for tomorrow. First thing on it after Get Kids Off to School? Quiet Time.

The Road to That Other Place

Good intentions. My life is full of them. I’ll scrub the floor (at some point). I’ll sit down and type a blog entry (well, maybe tomorrow). I’ll stop picking my cuticles (well, ok, I’ve never promised myself that one!). One of my worst “good intentions” is reading the bible. The spirit is ever so willing, but the flesh is ever so weak and wanting to do something else. Like watching TV or reading (including good Christian novels).

I need to set a time and stick to it. No matter what.

Bible Study Lesson 3

This was a short lesson on three verses, 1 Peter 1:10-12, speaking about how the prophets diligently searched to find the time that Christ would come and suffer.

She gave a quote at the beginning of the lesson that I wanted to share:

We see in the Pentateuch the Figures of the sufferings of Christ;
We see in the Psalms the Feelings of the suffering Christ;
We see in the Prophets the Forecasts of the sufferings of Christ;
We see in the Gospels the Facts of the sufferings of Christ;
We see in the Epistles the Fruits of the sufferings of Christ;
We see in the Book of Revelation the Fulfillment of the sufferings of Christ and the Glory that should follow.

(A. Naismith, A Treasury of Notes, Quotes and Anecdotes, p 211)

It’s another snow day here in PA–cold, snowy and WINDY. We’re staying inside and being thankful for ample shelter, food and power!

Bible Study Lesson 1 & 2

So I figure the best way to take something away from this bible study is to actually blog about it. That way, when I look back on these entries, I’ll be reminded of the lessons I learned. Because believe me, I promise you, I WILL FORGET. (sidebar: I used to work with a guy who told me I had a mind like a steel trap–I never forgot anything. Once I had children I exchanged the trap for a sieve–nothing ever stays in there!)

So! I got the book a few days ago and started lesson one (I Peter 1:1-3) in Wendy’s while eating a single. It was tasty (no onion, no mayo, no cheese). Peter starts by greeting the church in five cities and talks about grace and peace being theirs in abundance. Elizabeth, who I still think is a little strong on the “fill in the space with the exact word from the passage” talked about the definition of grace (God’s favor) and peace (refers to rest). Her point was that “whatever the trial or test, in it you have no only God’s power but God’s rest.” That’s a pretty good thing as long as we can remember that!

Lesson 2 (finished 1 today and then kept on going) I Peter 1:3-9 talks about our inheritance in heaven (incorruptible, undefiled, not fading away and reserved for us), that we WILL have grief and trials, that our faith is more precious than gold. Her point for this chapter was that we will suffer for our faith. I’ve only recently experienced this (except for a little teasing in high school) and it’s somewhat uncomfortable! She quotes D.L. Moody, which I would also like to do:

“God has settled in heaven certain trails of our faith, which will as surely befall us as the crown of glory be given us at Christ’s appearing. God’s purposes of grace are a golden chain; not a link must be missing. When the devil tries our faith it is that he may crush it or diminish it; but when God tries our faith it is to establish and increase it. Persecution will be to us as the deluge to the ask–a flood to lift us toward heaven.”

She finishes with “so when trials come our way, we can, by God’s grace, but on God’s gentle and quiet spirit, refusing to create disturbances and bearing with tranquility the disturbances caused by others.” My comment in the margin? HOW I SHOULD RESPOND!!