Posted in Health, Kids, Me

Margin, or Lack Thereof

It has Been. A. Week. (insert shaking head)

Monday began like it regularly does, with grocery shopping and one of the girls having counseling. At the end, however, the counselor wants to see me. She’s concerned about where this girl is, and thinks that she needs to change from one on one counseling once a week to group counseling 4x/week for 4-6 weeks. For reasons. I’m, naturally, freaking out not only about the need but also, realistically, about the scheduling and what needs to be done to make it work.

So Wednesday we make our way to the counseling center to fill out forms and for the group counselor to assess my daughter. For “30-45 minutes” after our forms.

One and a half hours later, she says that she doesn’t think group is the right placement, that my daughter should go into a “partial hospitalization placement” for a couple of weeks. This is from 8:30 – 2:40 Monday through Friday about 25 minutes from our house.

Ok. More freaking out, because of the exact same reasons listed above.

I reschedule my upcoming allergy appointment and the boys’ upcoming plastic surgery consults (long story there), but keep my “relaunch your career” class even though it’s stressful to do it, because, darn it, I NEED it. I need something for ME. And I hardly ever do anything for me. I’ll manage the driving from West Chester to Phoenixville to Media. It’s a LOT of driving time, but it’s worth it. Maybe the next two days of my classes when I have to also drive her, I will not go back home in between but will return to Phoenixville instead after class.

I find myself taking very deep breaths and letting them out slowly through my mouth in a blowing motion. No clue why, but if it’s what I need, then ok. I feel on the verge of tears a lot, and REALLY want someone to hold me and say everything is going to be ok. Usually I’m the one doing that to one of the kids.

I don’t do well with a lack of margin in my life. I build it in on purpose because I know myself and I need it. However, hopefully this will only be for two weeks and then we can just worry about group time in the evenings.

Right?

Posted in Me, Uncategorized

Empowering and Humbling

Those were the two words I used to describe to Jim an exercise at yesterday’s class. The class is right now finding more about yourself–your strengths, values, Myers Briggs, etc. (Later on we’ll be taking that info and incorporating it into our resumes).

One of our homework items last week was to write about a Good Experience. It had to be fun and something we were proud of. (I don’t know about you, but as a mom of teenagers I don’t often think “yeah, I’m so proud right now!). I had to dig and dig and dig and finally came up with an experience while I was still a professional organizer.

The original plan was to break into groups of two and read each other’s stories and write down strengths or traits we saw about the person because of that story. A lot of people were just as overwhelmed as I was about it, and didn’t do it. We ended up reading one out loud and then breaking up into groups. It was mine. I thought it was just a story about helping a young mom with three littles unpack and organize after SIX moves in 18 months. (As an aside, I loved that job. It was challenging and fun and the mom was very sweet.)

So I read the story out loud. They asked questions for clarification. And then–yowza people!–they started listing words and phrases:

Taking initiative, organized, discerning, altruistic, assessment of space, parcinga job into tangible, manageable parts, assessing, decision maker, kindness, non-judgemental, patience, supportive, efficience, time management, flexible, objective.

  1. The fact that these women got these words from my little story blows me away.
  2. There’s no way I would have come up with two or three, let alone that long list.
  3. Look at my blog title. That’s EXACTLY how I felt in that moment. They saw such wonderful things about me. But I also couldn’t deny the words, because when she handed me the list at the end and I looked it over, I had to agree that I had shown those things.
  4. Man, having the arthritis in my back kinda stinks because I could totally go for organizing again.

I have more homework this week, which I’m looking forward to. I haven’t done homework in 27 years, but while this is difficult, it’s also fun.

Posted in Family

This Week

Besides the regular driving kids to and from school (with or without snow delays)

Monday: L counseling, L annual ophthalmology.

Tuesday: Me “Relaunching Your Career” class, Me counseling first appointment.

Wednesday: Normally scheduled stuff

Thursday: Me help organize a friend’s dining room/school room so both uses can work, C tour of L’s school, Center for Performing and Fine Arts, because she is applying to get in.

Friday: L her Bureau of Blind and Vision Services coordinator comes out to discuss this year and how services will change once she graduates.

Saturday: B SAT, C Aurora concert in Philly

Sunday: E The Song that Never Ends performance in Philly.

Guys, I know in 5 years things will be drastically different, but I can’t imagine what life will look like when I’m not scurrying around like a chicken with my head cut off.