Posted in Kids

Graduation

They did it. WE did it! Bennett and Laura graduated on Saturday. I cried up to the ceremony, but did pretty well during and after. I love those two kids and it’s SUCH a HUGE milestone! From not even a kilogram at birth to high school graduates!

IMG_8413

Advertisements
Posted in Health, Kids, School

Where Do I Begin?

I made my counselor cry on Monday. Seriously. Because she saw how much I’m carrying and how self-sufficient I’m being and she feels so badly for me.

I feel like I’ve attained a new level when I can make my counselor cry.

Nitty Gritty Details:

Daughter who was doing partial hospitalization program successfully completed it and also completed four-day-a-week group program and is down to once a week counseling again. Except, she can’t because she just had her 2nd seizure. We meet with neurology in an hour to get more info, but she’s on an anticonvulsant and has a rescue med as well.

I have two kids finishing senior year in 9 days. Whether both can finish all their work on time I’m unsure, but here’s hoping.

Tomorrow I meet with Ethan’s new governmental agency–the autism waiver people–to see what they can offer him now and in the future.

Jim and I met with a disability life planner on Monday to start the social security paperwork process. There’s a LOT between Ethan and Laura.

Yesterday (after the above meeting) I emailed our lawyer to update our wills to add another special needs trust. Everything needs to be redone.

Took the seizure daughter to the pediatrician yesterday and also got a boatload of bloodwork done. SIX VIALS of BLOOD. Yowza.

This morning I returned the majority of the hardware and books for cyber school because of the two graduating seniors.

Tomorrow is Laura’s spring art show and Ethan’s spring concert.  Always on the same day. We will manage it, but will need to drop off the girls in between so one can rest her brain and the other can babysit her.

There’s always other miscellaneous stuff going on, but that’s the major stuff. I just want to get off the merry go round, people. Does it ever stop??!!

Posted in Kids, Me

Managing

I am. Managing, that is. Managing four teenagers, their schedules, their schooling, their mental health (and lack thereof), driving them hither and yon, my own life (thankyouverymuch) and, a little, my husband.

My daughter finishes up her Partial Hospitalization Program tomorrow. Finishes because they have seen much progress and she is ready to move down to a group therapy setting four times per week 2 hours per session. Down from 8:30-2:40 Monday through Friday at a place that was about 30 minutes away. Including dropping my other daughter off at her school, I would leave at 7:45am and return at 9:10ish. and then repeat at 2:00 and return around 3:15.

I saw some joy returning to her this past weekend. Joy that I hadn’t seen–honestly–in three or four years. It has deeply grieved me and I was almost in tears yesterday seeing it. So I will unilaterally say this program has been GOOD. I had my doubts in the beginning, although I supported her going because she wanted it and the team thought she needed it.

I think I’m just a little tired of keeping too many balls in the air. Some are starting to fall, and I really dislike that. But there’s just one of me, and I can only do as much as I can do, so I’m trying to give myself grace. Not necessarily doing well with it, but I’m trying.

Posted in Health, Kids, Me

Margin, or Lack Thereof

It has Been. A. Week. (insert shaking head)

Monday began like it regularly does, with grocery shopping and one of the girls having counseling. At the end, however, the counselor wants to see me. She’s concerned about where this girl is, and thinks that she needs to change from one on one counseling once a week to group counseling 4x/week for 4-6 weeks. For reasons. I’m, naturally, freaking out not only about the need but also, realistically, about the scheduling and what needs to be done to make it work.

So Wednesday we make our way to the counseling center to fill out forms and for the group counselor to assess my daughter. For “30-45 minutes” after our forms.

One and a half hours later, she says that she doesn’t think group is the right placement, that my daughter should go into a “partial hospitalization placement” for a couple of weeks. This is from 8:30 – 2:40 Monday through Friday about 25 minutes from our house.

Ok. More freaking out, because of the exact same reasons listed above.

I reschedule my upcoming allergy appointment and the boys’ upcoming plastic surgery consults (long story there), but keep my “relaunch your career” class even though it’s stressful to do it, because, darn it, I NEED it. I need something for ME. And I hardly ever do anything for me. I’ll manage the driving from West Chester to Phoenixville to Media. It’s a LOT of driving time, but it’s worth it. Maybe the next two days of my classes when I have to also drive her, I will not go back home in between but will return to Phoenixville instead after class.

I find myself taking very deep breaths and letting them out slowly through my mouth in a blowing motion. No clue why, but if it’s what I need, then ok. I feel on the verge of tears a lot, and REALLY want someone to hold me and say everything is going to be ok. Usually I’m the one doing that to one of the kids.

I don’t do well with a lack of margin in my life. I build it in on purpose because I know myself and I need it. However, hopefully this will only be for two weeks and then we can just worry about group time in the evenings.

Right?

Posted in Change, Kids, Me

The Year of Change

Some people choose a “word for the year” each new years. I’ve done it myself–last year in fact! (It was Engaged). This year I’m going with the word Change. Because I need to embrace it, although I typically hate it.

Change in parenting, change in my marriage, change in my work status…lots of change in circumstances.

However, I’d also like to embrace some internal change as well, more likely known as growth.

There’s been some serious talks around here lately, between my husband and I, between my sister and I and even between me, myself and I. Conversations about things that need to be addressed, looked at, and yes, changed.

So here we are. 5 1/2 months until graduation, 8 1/2 months until Laura goes to college and let the roller coaster start!

Posted in Change, Kids, Me

The Firsts of the Lasts

Having two of my triplets be seniors means there’s not only a lot going on (there’s ALWAYS a lot going on!), but there’s a lot of “last times” as well. The last first day of school. The last first marking period. The last school pictures. The last pediatric dentist appointment. This week was a biggie: Laura’s last IEP. Yes, I got a little verklempt!

Laura’s IEPs used to be short–20-25 minutes–and easy.  But then last year hit and she went downhill so quickly. Instead of just vision support and Orientation and Mobility, she’s now getting counseling and occupational therapy. I’m happy that her school is so caring and supportive. I argued for more OT–every week instead of every other–and they agreed to change it. Hooray for advocating for my daughter!

In news about ME for once, I had a big milestone birthday. Yep. I’m 50! The actual birthday was kind of a letdown between my reaction to a medication and the reaction of one of my teenagers, but I’m looking forward (mostly) to this coming year as I enter this decade of massive change. I’m questioning a lot, wondering a lot, thinking a lot and emoting all over the place (up, down, up, down! I’m like an adolescent!). Here’s to menopause and may it happen SOON!

And here’s to the many lasts that will be happening in the next months. May I face them hopefully and happily and not cry too much.

Posted in Kids

Grown and Flown

If you are a mom and have teenagers and are on Facebook, please check out the FB page called Grown and Flown. Oh my goodness! It speaks to me in a way that I haven’t been spoken to in SOO SOO SOO long!

These are not the moms in the trenches of potty training and sleep training and learning to crawl. These are not the moms getting together for playdates. These are not elementary school moms commiserating about PTO and playground duty.

These are ME. Teenage angst. Teenage sleep issues. Teenage anxiety. College and scholarship searches. Sleeplessness and hormones (for mom, that is!, as well as for the teens!) and stepping back to let the chicks start to try out their wings. And fail. And pick themselves up again. Hopefully.

Almost every day, there is a post or two that I stop and read and find myself totally agreeing with, or having more understanding of.

Where we are, where I am, is tough. Emotionally, socially, financially, medically…it’s just a VERY TOUGH YEAR.

Yesterday we completed Laura’s FAFSA. I’ve known it was coming, and known we had to deal with it, so when an article (On Grown and Flown!) mentioned it, I took a deep breath, typed in the phrase on Google and off we went. It took awhile, but now it’s done. With Bennett doing a gap year, only one was required. Whew. We’re currently waiting on the SAT’s to make their way to the Admissions office of West Chester University. That’s all they are waiting on, having just received her transcript this week.

It’s gettin’ real, people!

The teenage years are not for the weak!