1. 26 days until Christmas! 12 days of school left for my local kids and 15 for Ethan! Let the craziness begin!
2. Or not. Actually, it’s interesting this year. Finances are tight. TIGHT. So, with everyone’s blessing, we are opting to purchase only for our kids and my sister’s children. Which, let me tell you, makes life a whole lot easier with Christmas shopping. I have done 98% from the comfort of my office. So far, it’s only been stocking stuffers I’ve had to venture to the store for. Having not much money is actually making for a less stressful time for me. Who would have thunk?!
3. We are celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow with my family. My mother is home from the hospital (1.5 weeks there!) recoverying from pneumoni and sepsis. She’s very tired. Even talking on the phone exhausts her. While I’m looking forward to seeing my family, I’m uncertain how it will go with my mother. She’ll be 80 in a few weeks. She has outlived every single relative in her family, for which I am extremely grateful. I can’t imagine life without her.
4. I had the blessing of helping a mom take her daughter to rehab yesterday. Having a car, having the time…such simple things in my life, yet so big to someone who needed them. I’m making the drive again today, with special toiletries (without alcohol) for the daughter. As someone who doesn’t struggle with that particular addiction, it’s definitely outside of my realm to need alcohol-free shampoo. But, as someone who struggles with addiction in general, I know how low one can do to get a fix. Sigh.
5. Jim has caught some sort of bug and has definitely not been himself these past few days. I feel so badly for him when he’s sick–he’s not the “typical guy” you see on TV who groans and complains about a little cold, so when he does complain, I know he really doesn’t feel well.
6. We are talking very seriously about cyber school for the next school year. There are pros and cons for both it and public school, but the crazy-early wake up time is tipping the scales in cyber school’s favor.
7. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Now another one and out. Grab a cup of coffee and see how much Christmas shopping you can do online instead of trekking to the stores!
One of my dearest friends is moving. Our pastor and his wife have accepted a position literally across the country from where we are. While this makes me sad, I completely support them in it. Our church, being very, very small, is only able to pay someone part time. They are moving to go to a larger church with full time pay. I think its’ great. Sad, but great.
Our pastor’s wife, besides being one of my dearest friends, is also my accountability partner. She receives my Covenant Eyes reports, which detail what websites I visit and if there seems to be a problem with them. It’s not a filter–it doesn’t prevent me from going anywhere, but it’s Big Sister looking over my shoulder, which I SO SO SO need.
On top of moving across the country, my dearest friend also just had her third baby. She also has a four and a two year old. So her hands are full.
I called the local Celebrate Recovery group and spoke to the leader, who put me in contact with another SA woman. I spoke with her last night and we’re meeting for coffee on Monday evening. As someone who has walked a similar path, it will be interesting having her be my new accountability partner. I’ve only once, long ago, had another addict as my AP. She went off the deep end with her addiction and stopped communicating with me. Not good. Then I had a deacon. Then I had a friend. Then I had my pastor’s wife and now I’m hopefully going to have this new person. It’s been a journey. Telling my story is never easy. Starting at the beginning and opening up to yet another person is not going to be fun. But God and I talked about this. He is just as invested–if not more–in my sobriety as I am. He knew our pastor and his family were going to move. I’m thinking he might even have picked this new person out for me. Cuz he’s like that sometimes.
I’ll post after my meeting.
I just checked here and apparently I was hacked. The last post that was so excited about my earning money? That was NOT me. I’m sorry about that. I’ve deleted it and hopefully it won’t happen again.
As for what’s been going on, my mom is in the ICU with pneumonia, sepsis and other assorted things. I’ve been down at the hospital for the past two days, but am home today doing laundry and am about to do the grocery shopping and getting other errands accomplished. Tomorrow it’s back to the hospital. This kind of reminds me when the kids were in the NICU. I had to be there, had to be mom, but I also had a house to run, bills to pay and things to get done. Working those two things out in a guilt-free way was very difficult. As is this time around.
If you are a praying type person, please pray for my mother’s health and our family as a whole.
Tomorrow I turn 44.
44 is not the “early 40’s” anymore. It’s definitely in the range of the mid-40’s. You know what? I don’t mind.
I’ve said before that I’m loving the 40’s. They are, at least for me, settled. Comfortable. Not that I don’t have things to figure out, because for darn sure I still do, but the emotional upheaval of the teens and 20’s is done. The young-children parenting of the 30’s is done.
Now is the intensive making-sure-they-get-it-right-before-we-turn-them-loose stage. Yes, it’s hard. Sometimes very hard. Having to explain our Christian worldview amidst a world that is becoming more and more hostile to that viewpoint is challenging. Imparting values, but also respect for different values, is challenging. Walking the line of letting them make their own decisions and facing the consequences, but also still providing support and a soft place to land is challenging.
And you know what else? I’m better at it at 44 than I would have been at 24 or even 34. We started having children fairly late, but ended fairly “normal” because we had so many so quickly. Those extra years have imparted a lot of life experience and wisdom that I certainly lacked before.
So come on 44. Let’s see what you hold for me!
Today I did something that I have never done before.
I voted for someone not in the two major parties. It was not easy, let me tell you. I researched what three of the four lesser parties’s platforms were (I assumed that I didn’t have to research the Green Party). I won’t say who I ended up voting for, but I will say that he was, for me, the lesser of 6 evils. I didn’t agree wholeheartedly with anyone this time around. As much as it has been ingrained in me to vote with my party, I just couldn’t. The candidate did not represent what I believed in, nor where I want the country to go.
I have 100% confidence that my chosen candidate will not win. And that doesn’t bother me. I voted my conscience. That, to me, was what was important this election. (I will say, however, that for every other position I stayed with my chosen party.)