Posted in Family, Kids, Me

It’s Only a Season (right?)

I’ve mentioned in past posts (at least I think I have!) that this year I’ve been more overwhelmed than I have been in a long time. Please note the reasons why:

For one daughter, we’ve added counseling sessions (1x/week), Braille lessons (1x/week), med checks (1x/month) to this school year.

For another daughter, we’ve added physical therapy for her knees (2x/week) (for 8 weeks which we are mid-way through)

For a son we’re deep in the middle of robotics (2 evenings/week, 1 weekend day with 3 qualification matches between December and January)

Husband has the same schedule as the above son.

With the cold winter weather we’re taking a break from horseback riding lessons, thank the Good Lord.

My Wednesday morning Bible study will start up again in a few weeks.

Plus we have our normal carpool-in-the-morning-and-afternoon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every-other-Fridays. Oh, and it’s IEP season again. And the winter art show. And, and, and….

Sometimes I just feel like I can’t take one more thing. Really. I find myself zoning out more–either reading obsessively or bingeing on Netflix or surfing incessantly (do you see a pattern?) and know that I’m trying to find a non-sex-addiction way of pacifying myself.

I try to remember–and freak myself out in the process–that this really is just a season. One of the triplets will get his learners’ permit in August and will be licensed this time next year. So I won’t need to drive him. In about 2.5 years (a crazy short amount of time), two will be graduated and either working full time or off to college. Lord Willing, we are selling our house this year and moving closer to school and work so the drive times to those things will greatly reduce.

It REALLY IS just a season. An insanely busy season.

Posted in Health, Me

Something Other Than the Kitchen

I did something I don’t typically do today and went to see an actual doctor. Other than my annual OB-Gyn, annual ophthalmology, and annual/semi-annual endocrinology, I don’t see the “regular” doctor much. I just don’t get sick that often. And I’m not sick now.

But I’m also not sleeping.

Other than the changing of the seasons, where 4x/year I typically have a night or two of restlessness, sleep hasn’t been much of an issue for me once the kids got past the getting-up-in-the-night stage. Insomnia is just not something I’ve struggled with. Two nights I tossed and turned. Two nights I did Benedryl (which worked the first night and didn’t the 2nd), two nights I woke up, rolled over and went back to sleep and last night I finally got up at 1 and took one of Bennett’s melatonin pills. It worked, but I’m DRAGGING today.

So yeah, I went to my GP’s office. She wants me to get my thyroid checked (good idea!) and hormone levels checked (good idea too!) and take a melatonin before bed every night for 2 weeks. Not sure if I’m supposed to stop it after that, or what, but I’m willing to try it.

Because, at least for me, sleep is NOT optional.

Posted in Family, Kids, Kitchen Reno, Me, Overbrook

Why I Am OK About Rescheduling

So last week my husband asks how would I feel about changing the date that we start the reno from May 21st to May 28th. How did I feel?? NOT HAPPY. But yeah, I love my husband and the ONLY reason we chose the date we did is because it worked around his work schedule (which is crazy this year because of an audit that he is, essentially, running). And that schedule changed and that week no longer worked. So yeah, I worked through the not happiness and it became fine. Really.

And then it became so much better than fine because this, THIS my friends, is my week:

Sunday: Jim and Neighbor uninstall sliding glass door, frame in extra wall space and install new “full glass” (which ISN’T FULL GLASS) door. In between, fiddle with PC that we have had to install new hard drive on and therefore reload every freaking thing including thousands of updates onto. And yes, I ended that with a preposition.

Monday: Fiddle with PC more. Make menu, grocery list, add coupon software, print coupons, get gas, grocery shop, unload, lunch, rant about kids’ cyber school software program giving error codes at the end of the progress check and then rejoice at the rescheduled progress check, realize a chipmunk is in our house and try FOR HOURS to try and catch it. Pick up neighbor child from bus stop. Neighbor mother try to catch chipmunk. Fail. Make dinner, take Bennett to robotics, go to bed.

Tuesday: Carpool run to CPFA (Laura) and USP (Catie). Finally get Quicken to work on PC. Gather three trash bags’ worth of laundry and go to laundromat for 1 hr 5 minutes ($17) and catch up rather quickly. 🙂 Lunch for Bennett and me. Go to CPFA, get Laura, drop Bennett and Laura off for Algebra Keystones. Go to paint store and get paint for kitchen. Go to Entemann’s outlet and get donuts as a special treat for kids this week. Pick up Laura and Bennett and go home.Get home only to realize that 1) chipmunk is still in house and 2) dogs are VERY aware of this fact and have torn apart various parts of our house trying to get at it. When Jim gets home we finally join forces, use a crabbing net that I didn’t know we owned and catch the darn thing. Out it goes.

Wednesday (plans only at this point): Home in morning (put away all that laundry, maybe?) Leave at 12 for USP (Catie drama rehearsal) and Biology Keystones. Go to Lowes and get flooring that is finally in. Drop off library book, but don’t get sucked into vortex of library. Pick up all children from those at 4 plus car pool kid, drive home. Get Ethan from neighbor’s house. Dinner. Collapse.

Thursday:  USP and CPFA, home by 8:30 or so. Actually home a lot of the day! Leave at 3:15 to get to CPFA’s Spring Art Show (Nana pick up Laura so she doesn’t have to drive all the way home and then turn around to go back to school). Admire my daughter’s talent. Leave by 5, grab dinner and then head to Overbrook School for the Blind for Ethan’s Spring Concert. Meanwhile, Catie is performing in her drama, which we will miss tonight. Carpool family will drive her home. Spring Concert usually ends around 8:30, and it’s about 1 1/4 hours from home, so it’s a late night.

Friday: USP for Catie and carpool girl. Drive to headquarters of PALCS for Laura to finish Algebra. Home unknown time. Dinner of some sort, leave and meet Jim and Nana at USP for drama at 6:30.

Saturday: Thank goodness NOT starting kitchen reno!

Posted in Me

The Long Silence

So, um, yeah. Hi! It’s been months and months and months. No words, no ideas, no excuses. I don’t know it it’s just that I’m at a different season of life, but I’m thinking the direction of the blog is going to change.

Quick Update: I have three teens in 9th grade. One tween in 7th. Two of the teens are in cyber high school. Overbrook doesn’t do high school until 15, so we have, weirdly enough, two in middle school (one cyber, one not obviously).

Me? I’m doing a lot of windshield time back and forth to their various schools and after-school involvements. No carpooling this year, unfortunately–not with two girls in two different schools in two different parts of the same town.

Bennett finally found a place–robotics. He loves it and it seems like a great fit. So now every one of my kids has SOMETHING, which is such a relief.

We’re still–off and on–trying to find a church home. This week is an off week due to the fact that most of the family is either still sick or getting over it. It’s somehow mostly missed me (and Ethan) for which I’m extremely grateful.

I think that’s it for now. Stay tuned for the new direction. It’s coming soon.

Posted in House, Kids, Me, School

It’s Busy Season Around Here

Sorry for the complete lack of posting. I just checked and it’s been more than a month since my last post. My only defense is: my, we are busy around here! Between school, keeping house, laundry (aka the bane of my existence), home improvements (current: upstairs hall bathroom) and just general STUFF, I’m doing a lot. So the blogging suffers.

Let’s see….Ethan’s IEP went great (as always) and his testing just got completed and we got the paperwork. Lots and lots of pages and deciphering of information, but the bottom line is: Ethan is NOT intellectually disabled. He has definite issues, but they “can be explained by the autism and visual impairment.”  So, good. I just got information yesterday from a friend about training through the state on technology for the visually impaired. Totally making THAT call today!

We’re just about to finish up the 3rd marking period at cyber school and have 11 weeks left (including a week of spring break!). I’m definitely worried about one child who is struggling way more than I expected. (More on that in another post.) My other two are doing well….it’s just lasting until the final day.

We’ve scheduled our vacation. Every other year we make the really long trek to Lake Michigan. It’s only every other year for a couple of reasons: 1) there’s so much else in the world to see and 2) it’s a really, REALLY long drive. 12 hours at least the first day and then more driving the 2nd, plus a 2.5 hour ferry ride. So yeah, I just can’t face that every year. But this year it’s been long enough that I’ve forgotten the agony and am just anticipating 9 whole days on an island with hardly anything to do. Bliss!

The Upstairs Hall Bathroom Project is coming along slowly. Much more slowly than I had expected. The tub resurfacing saga has definitely slowed it down even further. March 6th, the much anticipated day when a company would come in and resurface our tub, taking it from ugly yellowy-tan to lovely white. Well, it was white in the end, but R did a horrible job. We complained. They sent R back. He did an even worse job. We were angry and complained again. The company was going to send H out last week, but then he had a personal emergency. But they didn’t call us to tell us. So we waited for several hours. So NOT impressed with this company. Finally H came yesterday and was horrified with the job that R did. He fixed everything and now work on the rest of the bathroom can begin again.

I know it’s more of a status update. Again, posts coming up, but I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t–as my mom often feared–dead in a ditch somewhere.

Posted in God, Me

A Crisp and Shiny New Year

Just waiting for all the possibilities to become realities.

For the first time in awhile, I find myself somewhat excited about the new year. It is a man-made institution and really no different from yesterday? Sure! But it’s still a kind of great excuse to “start fresh” if you want. And I want.

For the first time in a LONG time, God is exciting. My relationship with him feels like a marriage that was on the rocks for a long time, but then the couple decides to really work on it and things improve. Except that God didn’t really give up on me, did He? I gave up, moved away and wanted the separation. I wanted the dingy, smelly apartment with the bug-ridden kitchen and dim bulbs and orange shag carpet. Because it seemed so much better than working on my marriage. Stupid, stupid Tina. I’m back at home with my Lord, cuddling on the couch and planning our future again. And happy about the fact.

**Side note: my parents’ house really had orange carpets when I was growing up. Orange has been my least-favorite color for many, many years in honor of that.**

My sister used an app called My Fitness Pal and managed, using basic math of LESS IN to lose 35 lbs in 2014. I have downloaded the app and been fooling around with it. While it’s somewhat depressing to see just how few calories a 5′ 1″ woman who wants to lose weight gets to eat, it’s definitely eye-opening to realize that my morning cup of coffee (that sometimes makes its way to two cups), eats up 1/12th of my allotted daily needs. That’s a LOT of calories for a drink!

So while I’m not making any ridiculous New Year’s resolutions that I will break in two weeks, my word for 2015 is RECOMMITTED. To God. To my health and well-being. To our new church. To growth. Such a good place to be, don’t you think?!

Posted in Addiction, God, Me, Parenting

Pulling Up The Edges of the Sticker

Awhile back I posted about Being Stuck. Addiction. God. Parenting one of my children. Those three things had me mired in a place where I just couldn’t move. Not an inch. I couldn’t seem to get out of where i was but I HATED where I was.

So I started counseling.

And put a sort of block on my cellphone. Because, people, even 20 freaking years into this recovery I still cannot handle unaccountable time on the internet.I MUST have someone looking over my shoulder. Really. MUST. For September and October and even most of November I was what I’ll call unwillingly sober. Forced because of my accountability software. Somewhere in late November something switched. Whether my brain chemicals finally caught up with the fact that hey, you’re sober! Or I’m far enough on the path towards God that it cleared my brain, but I finally WANT to be sober. If thoughts come into my brain I shoo them away instead of lovingly caress them and call them my precious. If a plot from a book floats into my thoughts, I put my thoughts onto something else. It’s GOOD people! Really GOOD.

God and I are back on speaking terms. That, too, is GOOD. We’re going to church, somewhat regularly. I’d like to make some friends there, but hopefully that will come in time. I don’t automatically blow Him off when something crosses my mind that’s difficult (i.e. Connor’s passing away). It’s good. I LIKE being on better terms with God.

The parenting thing…well…2 out of 3 ain’t bad, right? Just kidding! I’m still going to her (although taking a short break for the holiday craziness) and am still working on the parenting thing. I’m really struggling with one particular child right now–which has happened in the past and has ultimately passed–but this time it’s lasting longer and seems to be more difficult. So I’ll keep working on it…and the sobriety and the God thing and….life is work, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. Right?!