Posted in House, Me

Where Things Stand

Physically: I am still dealing with daily back pain. I meet with the orthopedist on Tuesday, but I don’t expect any results from that. I expect further testing will be needed. Otherwise, I’m working with a dietician and am on a new medicine for my hyperinsulinemia (Riomet). So far, so good, although it’s a liquid and tastes like the third ring of hell.

Mentally: I’m getting weary, I think that’s the word. Weary of fighting with the kids over school. Weary of money stuff. Weary of worries.

Financially: Jim’s bonus comes next week, and totally not kidding, it will pay off our credit card and theoretically cover the rest of the first phase of home improvements, plus the visit to the lawyer to do all the necessary lawyer stuff that we need to do. There’s still so much to be done on the house, but the money done run out!

Addiction: Hmmm…not on the back burner. Not boiling away on the front, either, but I’d rather it comfortably be on that back burner, forgotten and not important. I think I’ll have to check myself and see what all is going on–maybe it’s that weary thing mentioned above.

Family: The teenagers are being challenging, all four in their own individual ways. Summer plans are in place for the two visually impaired to live away from home for the first time and work on independence skills at two different programs. This will be GOOD, but oh, it is so hard! Jim and I just planned an anniversary trip (for October!) and are planning our vacation to Michigan (last family trip there? Maybe?)

House: We still have a storage unit, but I think that’s going to always be there as long as we are here. Jim’s garage greatly downsized when we moved, and there’s just not enough room for two cars and a shop. I think the current plan is to get a storage unit closer to our house, put one of the cars in it, and transfer the shop from the storage unit to the garage.  The electricians are almost finished as of today (Phase 1), and we have pot lights in our very dark family room and laundry room. Up next is the insulation (which this house is seriously lacking).

I think right now it’s just a matter of keeping the balls all up in the air at the same time. My mantra is “it’s just a season, it’s just a season”. Right?

Posted in Health, Me

In Which I Practice Self-Care

There’s a sort of movement going on right now about self-care–bubble baths, glasses of wine, “Me time” etc. f you want to practice it, you go right ahead. But I’m not talking about that.

I’m talking about the actual caring of myself–my body, my pain, my self-worth, even my darn teeth.

See, as all of you know, 2017 was, let’s just say a bit of a whirlwind. And there were certain things that HAD TO BE DEALT WITH. LIKE RIGHT NOW.

And I wasn’t one of them.

Oh yes, I absolutely blame myself. My husband is not going to nag me to go to the dentist. Or ask about my nutritional choices. He would view those things as my responsibility–rightly so–and leave them up to me.

But hey, it’s 2018! And I’m in pain. ALL THE TIME. And my teeth haven’t been looked at in…um….well over 18 months. And I stopped taking the medicine I need to take. And I’m eating crap and sugar way too much. And if you look up “sedentary” in the dictionary, well, there’s my picture!

So on the 31st I meet with my new dentist. Feb 1st I see a dietician. I started eating better (or at least paying attention to my choices!) yesterday and mostly recorded those choices in My Fitness Pal (app). I also, because of those good choices, took my meds (which HATE high fat choices and make me pay very quickly). I see my endocrinologist Feb 21st and a nurse practitioner in my new doctor’s office this Friday where I will talk about my back and my chest. My back is the everyday of my life pain thing. My chest….

Here’s the self-worth/happy with myself part. I’m 5′ 1.5″. I weight…well, a lot more than I should, but I’m not rotund. I’m also a 38G. Yes, a G. Such a great letter of the alphabet, but describes a part of my body that I’ve been very unhappy with for many, many, MANY years. I’d like to find out if insurance would cover a breast reduction surgery. If they would, then it’s going to become a conversation between Jim and me. If they won’t, well, I guess we’re stuck because that’s something like $12,000 and that’s not something we have just laying around. I guess I go to counseling to make myself happy with my body?

And oh, how difficult it is to preach “love your body” to my daughters while I’m so dissatisfied with mine!

So there you have it. Me. Aching, overweight, unhealthy me. We’ll see what 2018 holds!

Posted in House, Me

Lightbulb Moment

2017 was CRRRRRRAZY. It was a lot of work, worry and boxes–between getting the house ready to sell, selling the house, trying to find a place to live, moving into the apartment, finding this house, waiting for this house, moving into this house, unpacking in this house… just never ended.

Except now it has. With the exception of the basement that needs organization, the remaining drive-up storage shed of stuff that will mostly go in the basement (but not until it is WAY warmer) and the friend who is bringing over our shed stuff (lawn mower, snow blower etc) this weekend, we’re pretty much good to go. The house is, honestly, unpacked. (We worked very hard in December!)

So here we are. There will always be a “to do” list–that’s just the nature of home ownership. Ours is a bit long right now because of all the things that need to be dealt with fairly quickly, but still, the way I put it to Jim the other day feels right:

It’s figuring out what life looks like and how we live it here.

The crazy journey is done. We finally got off the merry-go-round. Now, it’s just LIFE. Making friends, making memories and hopefully finding happiness here.

So many people are picking a work for the year. It took me a bit, but I came up with one this morning:


2017 I was utterly focused in our lives. I had no extra energy or desire to be outward focused or bandwidth to be engaged in anything other than us.

2018 is different. Living so much closer allows for involvement. My initial reaction is always to say “NO!” to almost everything. But I’m fighting that and rethinking it. Yes, I actually CAN help with the art show–we live really close now, so it’s not a horrible burden. You want to stay after school? Sure! Go ahead! I’m only 10 minutes away now, so it doesn’t matter. You want to get involved in a school program? Ok! We’re only 7 minutes from there, so sure!

It’s weird. But GOOD weird!

Happy 2018 everyone! Thanks for sticking around for the past year. I can’t wait to see what this one has in store for us!

Posted in Family, Kids, Me

It’s Only a Season (right?)

I’ve mentioned in past posts (at least I think I have!) that this year I’ve been more overwhelmed than I have been in a long time. Please note the reasons why:

For one daughter, we’ve added counseling sessions (1x/week), Braille lessons (1x/week), med checks (1x/month) to this school year.

For another daughter, we’ve added physical therapy for her knees (2x/week) (for 8 weeks which we are mid-way through)

For a son we’re deep in the middle of robotics (2 evenings/week, 1 weekend day with 3 qualification matches between December and January)

Husband has the same schedule as the above son.

With the cold winter weather we’re taking a break from horseback riding lessons, thank the Good Lord.

My Wednesday morning Bible study will start up again in a few weeks.

Plus we have our normal carpool-in-the-morning-and-afternoon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every-other-Fridays. Oh, and it’s IEP season again. And the winter art show. And, and, and….

Sometimes I just feel like I can’t take one more thing. Really. I find myself zoning out more–either reading obsessively or bingeing on Netflix or surfing incessantly (do you see a pattern?) and know that I’m trying to find a non-sex-addiction way of pacifying myself.

I try to remember–and freak myself out in the process–that this really is just a season. One of the triplets will get his learners’ permit in August and will be licensed this time next year. So I won’t need to drive him. In about 2.5 years (a crazy short amount of time), two will be graduated and either working full time or off to college. Lord Willing, we are selling our house this year and moving closer to school and work so the drive times to those things will greatly reduce.

It REALLY IS just a season. An insanely busy season.

Posted in Health, Me

Something Other Than the Kitchen

I did something I don’t typically do today and went to see an actual doctor. Other than my annual OB-Gyn, annual ophthalmology, and annual/semi-annual endocrinology, I don’t see the “regular” doctor much. I just don’t get sick that often. And I’m not sick now.

But I’m also not sleeping.

Other than the changing of the seasons, where 4x/year I typically have a night or two of restlessness, sleep hasn’t been much of an issue for me once the kids got past the getting-up-in-the-night stage. Insomnia is just not something I’ve struggled with. Two nights I tossed and turned. Two nights I did Benedryl (which worked the first night and didn’t the 2nd), two nights I woke up, rolled over and went back to sleep and last night I finally got up at 1 and took one of Bennett’s melatonin pills. It worked, but I’m DRAGGING today.

So yeah, I went to my GP’s office. She wants me to get my thyroid checked (good idea!) and hormone levels checked (good idea too!) and take a melatonin before bed every night for 2 weeks. Not sure if I’m supposed to stop it after that, or what, but I’m willing to try it.

Because, at least for me, sleep is NOT optional.

Posted in Family, Kids, Kitchen Reno, Me, Overbrook

Why I Am OK About Rescheduling

So last week my husband asks how would I feel about changing the date that we start the reno from May 21st to May 28th. How did I feel?? NOT HAPPY. But yeah, I love my husband and the ONLY reason we chose the date we did is because it worked around his work schedule (which is crazy this year because of an audit that he is, essentially, running). And that schedule changed and that week no longer worked. So yeah, I worked through the not happiness and it became fine. Really.

And then it became so much better than fine because this, THIS my friends, is my week:

Sunday: Jim and Neighbor uninstall sliding glass door, frame in extra wall space and install new “full glass” (which ISN’T FULL GLASS) door. In between, fiddle with PC that we have had to install new hard drive on and therefore reload every freaking thing including thousands of updates onto. And yes, I ended that with a preposition.

Monday: Fiddle with PC more. Make menu, grocery list, add coupon software, print coupons, get gas, grocery shop, unload, lunch, rant about kids’ cyber school software program giving error codes at the end of the progress check and then rejoice at the rescheduled progress check, realize a chipmunk is in our house and try FOR HOURS to try and catch it. Pick up neighbor child from bus stop. Neighbor mother try to catch chipmunk. Fail. Make dinner, take Bennett to robotics, go to bed.

Tuesday: Carpool run to CPFA (Laura) and USP (Catie). Finally get Quicken to work on PC. Gather three trash bags’ worth of laundry and go to laundromat for 1 hr 5 minutes ($17) and catch up rather quickly. 🙂 Lunch for Bennett and me. Go to CPFA, get Laura, drop Bennett and Laura off for Algebra Keystones. Go to paint store and get paint for kitchen. Go to Entemann’s outlet and get donuts as a special treat for kids this week. Pick up Laura and Bennett and go home.Get home only to realize that 1) chipmunk is still in house and 2) dogs are VERY aware of this fact and have torn apart various parts of our house trying to get at it. When Jim gets home we finally join forces, use a crabbing net that I didn’t know we owned and catch the darn thing. Out it goes.

Wednesday (plans only at this point): Home in morning (put away all that laundry, maybe?) Leave at 12 for USP (Catie drama rehearsal) and Biology Keystones. Go to Lowes and get flooring that is finally in. Drop off library book, but don’t get sucked into vortex of library. Pick up all children from those at 4 plus car pool kid, drive home. Get Ethan from neighbor’s house. Dinner. Collapse.

Thursday:  USP and CPFA, home by 8:30 or so. Actually home a lot of the day! Leave at 3:15 to get to CPFA’s Spring Art Show (Nana pick up Laura so she doesn’t have to drive all the way home and then turn around to go back to school). Admire my daughter’s talent. Leave by 5, grab dinner and then head to Overbrook School for the Blind for Ethan’s Spring Concert. Meanwhile, Catie is performing in her drama, which we will miss tonight. Carpool family will drive her home. Spring Concert usually ends around 8:30, and it’s about 1 1/4 hours from home, so it’s a late night.

Friday: USP for Catie and carpool girl. Drive to headquarters of PALCS for Laura to finish Algebra. Home unknown time. Dinner of some sort, leave and meet Jim and Nana at USP for drama at 6:30.

Saturday: Thank goodness NOT starting kitchen reno!

Posted in Me

The Long Silence

So, um, yeah. Hi! It’s been months and months and months. No words, no ideas, no excuses. I don’t know it it’s just that I’m at a different season of life, but I’m thinking the direction of the blog is going to change.

Quick Update: I have three teens in 9th grade. One tween in 7th. Two of the teens are in cyber high school. Overbrook doesn’t do high school until 15, so we have, weirdly enough, two in middle school (one cyber, one not obviously).

Me? I’m doing a lot of windshield time back and forth to their various schools and after-school involvements. No carpooling this year, unfortunately–not with two girls in two different schools in two different parts of the same town.

Bennett finally found a place–robotics. He loves it and it seems like a great fit. So now every one of my kids has SOMETHING, which is such a relief.

We’re still–off and on–trying to find a church home. This week is an off week due to the fact that most of the family is either still sick or getting over it. It’s somehow mostly missed me (and Ethan) for which I’m extremely grateful.

I think that’s it for now. Stay tuned for the new direction. It’s coming soon.