I gave Ethan a shower and then got him dressed in our room (clean clothes already there). I grabbed Jim’s antiperspirant and put some on him, telling him what I was doing. As I went to put it back, I heard him sniff—deeply—his armpit and say “Oooh!” in a delighted voice.
Then, after I came downstairs:
Looking at a picture of Daddy holding preemie Ethan (to take into pediatrician’s office for comparison)
Laura: Ooh! He doesn’t have a beard!
Bennett: It looks so wrong!
Laura: Beards are manly!
I’m writing here because I can’t put this on Facebook. A friend of mine–38, mother of three (including twins) just had a stroke this weekend. Much, MUCH prayer has followed. Which is right and proper. She is making a miraculous recovery, which is wonderful. But then come the “God is SOOO good!” posts. Or, “Never underestimate the power of prayer! Constant prayer, with full conviction, without loss of hope, really does create miracles”.
My response is: God sometimes says NO. It’s still an answer. He’s still good. But yeah, NO was a big, huge answer to a lot of our (and many, many, MANY other peoples) prayers.
But I’m not posting that on Facebook because, well, I’m not going to be a downer.
1. I again am splitting the back-to-school timeline into two different dates. Catie starts back the 26th and the triplets start back September 3rd. Except not to the same school. This year I will have Four children in Three school districts with Three different schedules. Yes, this overwhelms me.
2. One of the HUGE advantages of doing cyber school is the complete and utter lack of back to school shopping. Sure I’ll get some pencils and new sneakers, but pretty much everything is done on the (school supplied) computers. So no binders, no loose-leaf paper, no composition books…NADA. I still have to buy stuff for my fifth grader (including uniforms), but man, it’s a lot cheaper buying for one kid!
3. With Jim’s new job comes paying off debt and the ability to have the kids do extra-curricular activities. Laura’s music lessons will be through her school, but Bennett will take guitar lessons and Catie will start horse riding lessons. I’m looking into Acting Without Boundaries for Ethan, but not sure about the time commitment. Seems like it’s going to be a busy year in our household!
4. We got a new dog! Jake was in a shelter in Henderson, NC. His time was up and they were going to euthanize him. A local rescue group, Paws to Hearts, took him in and fostered him. They listed him on Petfinder and we saw him there. Such a cutie! We applied and met him and adopted him on Sunday. Everyone has fallen in love and he fits very, very well with our family. This was sleeping arrangements two nights ago. The big dog is Coco, the little one is Jake.
5. In one week we will host up to 8 kids for the triplet’s 12th birthday party. We’re doing a swim party. Because it’s easy. I’m all about easy at this stage. The sighted kids are getting a gift card for Minecraft. The non-sighted will be getting Braille non-fiction books because that’s what he loves more than anything. That and a fart gun. Because we’re fun parents.
6. Pursuant to #5, HOW IN THE WORLD DID THEY REACH 12????? Weren’t they, like, 7 just a few days ago??
7. Regarding my last post, things are going ok. I’ve spoken with my accountability partner. I’ve deleted what needed to be deleted. I’ve prayed and asked for daily help to get through the day. I’m making better choices. The necessary steps to walk TOWARDS sobriety instead of AWAY from it. Yeah, it’s good.
Poorly. Seriously poorly.
this year we went to Lake Michigan. 12 hour drive Day 1, 3.5 hour drive + 2.5 hour ferry Day 2. With four kids, one of whom threw up more than a dozen times (and I’m not exaggerating for good reading) the first day.
Before all that happened, I knew it was going to be a long trip. I had a lot of packing, a LOT of preparation. I was nervous (VERY nervous) as to how Ethan would 1) handle the trip there and 2) handle the vacation because a) no live TV b) no internet c) not a whole lot of live non-country music.
How do I handle uncertainty?
I don’t. I medicate it with stuff I shouldn’t be reading.
After Michigan (which was good, although Ethan was frequently bored), we got home and immediately I had to jump into back-to-school and birthday stuff (triplets turn 12 (!) on the 25th).
This year we are doing cyber school for two of the triplets. This is a very big unknown. A very big, huge uncertainty in my life.
How do I handle uncertainty?
I don’t. I medicate it with stuff I shouldn’t be reading.
Up until July or so, my addiction was pretty much on the back burner. Little twinges here and there, but nothing I really needed to worry that much about.
Now. Hah.
I emailed my accountability partner this morning, from the depths of sheer obedience. “Fell off the wagon” was all it said. I removed the books–while wincing–from my Kindle program. I reminded God (as if he needed reminding) that I am powerless over the fact that I have this and completely need His help to make the right choice. That I HATE WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING that this exists in the first place and that I give into it in the second.
All the while knowing that I could just as easily fall back down again tomorrow.
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