A few posts ago I talked about the kids all leaving the nest at the same time. It’s been on my mind of late and I wanted to post some more.
10 years ago we had three children living at the Christiana Hospital’s NICU. One was in heaven and one wasn’t even a gleam in her daddy’s eye yet.
10 years from now, Lord Willing, the last one will be a Freshman in college, following in her big brothers’ and sister’s footsteps.
10 years ago I was just trying to figure out what motherhood was all about and was terrified about the idea of bringing them home and being responsible for their daily well-being.
10 years from now I will be trying to figure out what my life will be like when I am not defined by the term “mother”. That job will be mostly done. I’m sure they’ll visit. One or two may even live at home and commute to college. But the active parenting–the daily instruction and teaching and bringing up into adulthood–that will be largely over and they will be making their own choices (and living with the consequences!).
10 years ago Jim and I were only married six years and were feeling our way into Mommy and Daddy instead of just husband and wife.
10 years from now we’ll be rediscovering each other, I think, and figuring out what the rest of our lives will look like.
10 years ago I retired from full time work to be a full time stay at home mother.
10 years from now I expect to fully return to the workforce. In what capacity, I don’t know. I’ll be in my early to mid 50’s. The physical nature of being a professional organizer is not something I see being able to do for the rest of my life, although I enjoy it thoroughly. I think I might want to be a secretary/administrative assistant again. I enjoyed doing it when I worked. I think I might enjoy it again. I’m glad I have time to think about it!
10 years ago I was learning to open up and let my children into my heart and life.
10 years from now I will be learning to let go.
It’s an interesting view from the midpoint!
Today I attended a funeral for an old friend–old both ways. Betty was 90 when she passed away last week, and my friendship with her started in 1989. We worked together for a little over three years and in those years she was the closest thing to a grandmother that I had (my one grandmother died when I was five and I have few memories of her).
The priest gave a very short message before her son spoke. You may have heard it before, but it bears repeating. He spoke about the fact that when you look at a gravestone, you see two dates separated by a hyphen. While the dates are somewhat important, the truly big stuff lies in that hyphen. Our whole lives lie in that little hyphen. Her son Curt spoke about that hyphen; he filled in the details. Hers was a life well and fully lived. Although a Catholic by birth, later in life she attended a bible-teaching church and came to love the Lord. I believe I’ll see her someday, which is why there were no tears today. I hadn’t seen her in many years–she had moved to a different state to live first with her daughter and then in a nursing home when the Alzheimer’s became too advanced. My memories of her are from about 8 years ago, before the downhill trek happened. I’m glad. I know she’s been made perfect and whole and is worshiping the Lord in Spirit and in truth and, best of all, in person.
Jim and I just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. Because Jim’s mom ROCKS and was willing to watch the kids for the WHOLE WEEKEND, we went away to the Poconos for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Our house was in Albrightsville (a tiny dot on a map in the middle of nothing), but we spent most of Saturday in Jim Thorpe, PA. It was originally called Mauch Chunk (Mock Chunk), but renamed Jim Thorpe after a famous athlete (that I admittedly had never heard of).
We had a FABULOUS time. It was terrific being just the two of us. I love my kids–really and for true–but 48 hours without them and only talking to my husband was amazing. In less than 10 years that will be us full time.
That will be very weird. I’m going to have the whole “empty nest” thing happen to all four children within two years of each other. Very, Very weird.
Anyway, it was great to recharge our marital batteries and just be Jim Husband and Wife instead of Mom and Dad. If you have kids and have a hard time getting away (which believe me, I understand!), I urge you to find ways. Your marriage with thank you.
Backstory Part 1. Ethan has difficulty with saying TH (he says f) and L (he says w). He practices a lot and sometimes gets them right and sometimes gets them wrong.
Backstory Part 2. I told him about Elmer Fudd and his difficulty saying R’s (wascally wabbit!). On Saturday he said “someone should work with him to fix that.” (like a speech therapist). So cute!
So this morning we were sitting at breakfast and I was hurrying him because we were fairly late and the bus was coming soon. I said “We’ll have to be like Speedy Gonzales!” and then I explained who he was and that he was always running away from Sylvester, who said things like “Sufferin’ Succotash!”, except he has a lisp and says “Thufferin Thuccotash!” instead. Ethan thought that was pretty funny and repeated it.
Remember the backstory part 1? Instead of Th we get F? You say it out loud and see what YOU get!