We opted to stay home today. Having been running around like crazy this past week, we decided enough was enough and actually had a day of rest. It was wonderful. Except for Ethan misbehaving and really being pretty awful to the other kids, we relaxed all day. What a wonderful Sabbath!
Today is one of those days where I am putting my nose to the grindstone and just DOING. We all have those days. Just like we all have days like yesterday where I accomplished next to nothing. Hence today! Laundry, paperwork, the budget, phone calls to the dealership about the van, straightening up, feeding the kids (well, ok, that did happen yesterday)….my to do list is a lot of checked off boxes.
Ethan is 7 days into his 10 day Easter Vacation. The stress is starting to take its toll. He has at least one total melt down per day where he just needs to lay down on his bed and calm himself down. Tears for no reason (that I can discern) are also at least once per day. I love my son. He’s a funny little guy and a lot of fun to be with when he’s cheery. But he needs the structure and constant challenge that school provides. Breaks are very hard because he gets very bored. VERY bored. Come on, Monday!!
He is Risen, Indeed!!
I was raised in the Baptist church, and this is what we said on Easter morning. I’m teaching it to Ethan because I still think it’s awesome!
It’s Good Friday. Religious observances aside, it’s actually a Good Day over here because we’re halfway thru! Bennett and Laura’s last day of vacation is today (ok, there’s still the weekend!), Catie has Monday off, and Ethan just started today. Next week is chock full o’ stuff (including the much anticipated visit to the Hershey Feeding Clinic), so it will hopefully go as quickly as this one has. I’m not overly fond of school breaks. I like sleeping in, but the added refereeing is rather draining!
My playdate is coming in an hour, so I’m off to straighten up and do a quick vacuum!
And while driving home the 6 odd minutes it takes to get from her office to my home, I felt like I had vomited a lot of emotion and history into her lap. Seriously. That’s how it felt. I have homework, which is amusing to my husband. When I get angry, I have to stop (which is a Good Thing), write down the situation that is causing the emotion, and the level of intensity. I have to come up with levels. I thought I would share them with you (I had to use MS Word’s thesaurus for a little help!)
Irritated: Whichever child you are, you are getting on my nerves. Please stop.
Annoyed: Whichever child you are, WHY do you continue to get on my nerves? CEASE!
Upset: Whichever child you are, I’m starting to lose my temper.
Mad: Ok, kid, now I’m mad.
Livid: I’m yelling. Screaming, actually. Charming, aren’t I?
At next week’s appointment we will see if there is a common thread with all the situations. I can guess that they will include either a child or a spouse, but that’s purely conjecture on my part.
Oh, and about that Spouse, he can make me laugh more than anyone else in the world. That’s one of the things I fell in love with lo, those many years ago. Do I tell you this story? Who will be more embarrassed? Him? Me? You?
Ok, I’ll tell you. I have this thing (and I’ve told you all before I’m quirky, so don’t pretend to be shocked). I like to pull out his belly button fuzz. I know, I know! I’m weird. But there it is. I do it and he rolls his eyes (though I think he secretly likes it). Anyway! Last night we’re snuggled up watching Amanda Overmeyer get kicked off Idol (which shocked us both!), and I lifted his shirt a tiny bit to get out the fluff. I showed him and then threw it out in the trash can. He said, (and don’t you love him?) “Hey, there might have been a Who in there!” !!!!!
Which totally made the vomit feeling go away.
It’s my informal observation that Mary’s marry Martha’s. No, I’m not talking lesbians! I mean the biblical reference of Jesus’ friends. See, He came to visit his friends. They ate together and then he visited with them. Only, Martha felt like she needed to clean up the kitchen while Mary sat and listened to Jesus. Martha, the martyr, complained to Jesus about Mary the Slacker. Instead of being on her side, He got on her case, saying Mary had chosen better!
I’m a Martha. Jim is a Mary. Every Sunday this is driven home to me. After church, my main goal is to get the kids from Jr. Church, corral them and get them out the door and home for lunch. Jim’s goal is to visit with the church family and build relationships. See the difference? I’m a Martha. He’s a Mary. And we actually married each other! 🙂
I read a blog today, One Thing, who’s subtitle is: trying to find the Mary buried in the Martha. I LOVE that! I have the capability to build relationships and connect with people. I just have to get past my love of getting things done.
On a side note, I’ve had two very good temper days. Even with Ethan, with whom I struggle the most.
If you want to vote for me, please go to My Semblance of Sanity’s blog and vote!
Just made the decision a little bit ago that I am definitely going to counseling. I’m tired of being angry so often. I’m tired of yelling CONSTANTLY at the children. I’m tired of always REacting instead of being PROactive with the family. God has been bombarding me with messages (yes, that’s usually what it takes) that my children are a blessing, that I should be mothering them better, that I shouldn’t feel like I need to escape from them but love being with them. And for that, honestly, I will need someone professional to talk to.
I’ll be making a call later today, after Catie goes to preschool, to a local person. I’m nervous, but looking forward to talking it all out. Finally.
My beautiful baby girl, Catherine Sarah, is 5 years old today!! I don’t know how it went THAT quickly, but my, she is big, sweet, funny, serious, thoughtful, caring, and stinker of a child! I LOVE YOU, CATIE!!
I’m re-reading Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson. This is one of the top three “challenge myself” books I have ever read, with the Bible and Irresistible Revolution completing the list. All three make me think. All three have changed me. The Bible is, well, the Word of God. IR is a non-fiction book about a man’s journey from selfishness to living totally for God. Quaker Summer is a fiction book about a woman married to a heart surgeon, the accompanying wealth, who is bogged down and enslaved to its live style. It’s her journey to a new heart and life and attitude that so challenges me.
Lisa does not write comfortable books. They are not what I call “fluffy Christian romances”. There is pain, grief, death, faith, challenge and lots of hard issues. I encourage you, my readers, to check out any of her books, but especially Quaker Summer, from your local library. You won’t be sorry!