Posted in Me, To Do List

For Today

FOR TODAY August 29, 2012

Outside my window…Warm, sunny, mid-80’s, thankfully low humidity.

I am thinking…about sleeping in on Friday

I am thankful… that Bennett and Laura seem to be settling into middle school. So far. And that their teachers seem awesome.

In the kitchen…tonight is Back to School night at the elementary school. Most like just hot dogs and macaroni and cheese.

I am wearing… black shirt, tan capris and sneakers. I get more done with sneakers on.

I am creating… a space in the new school room for my desk.

I am going… to a winery on Friday night for an annual get-together with some of our dearest friends.

I am wondering… where the fairy is who will come and clean off my office floor. I just today realized I haven’t filed in about six–SIX!–months.

I am reading… A bunch of books. I have Summer Days by Susan Mallory, The Green Letters by Miles Stanford, Meet the Austins by Madeline L’Engle, and Two for the Dough by Janet Evanovich. It depends on which room I’m in what book I’m reading!

I am hoping… that one of the two possible contracts becomes definite for Jim. And that I get some work in September once everyone is back in school.

I am looking forward to… the house to myself. TO MYSELF.

I am hearing…Team Umizoomi in the playroom, the dishwasher running in the kitchen and the dryer in the laundry room. I’m a busy little bee today, I am!

Around the house… Let’s not talk about the house right now, ok? It always suffers around this time and then I bounce back once the kids are in school. I did, however, just order the 3 other desks for the school room, so that’s one more step towards the changeover.

I am pondering… what kind of cheese to buy for Friday night. I always get Welsh Cheddar and Prima Donna Gouda. We’ve done goat cheese with honey that was amazing–maybe I’ll try that again.

One of my favorite things… when they’ve finally fallen asleep and the house is peaceful and quiet.

A few plans for the rest of the week… Back to School night tonight, worship practice Thursday, date on Friday, getting together with Jim’s sister and her husband over the weekend, church on Sunday and probably hamburgers on the grill for Monday (Labor Day). Whew!

Posted in Addiction

Identity

Back in January, a friend and fellow blogger challenged me (ok, all her readers) to come up with a word for the year. After careful consideration, I chose Identity. I really felt like that was something I was going to be dealing with this year. And boy howdy, has it ever!

One of the blogs I follow (of the many!) is a young woman who talks about sex addiction. She posted recently about recovery and the process, but the part I want you to look at is the comment section. She and I go back and forth about what we really are. She contends that she is no longer a sex addict–that part of the healing she has gone through is no longer having an addiction, just a weakness towards.

I can’t speak for her–that may be true. But for myself, well, I just don’t buy it. I have a weakness towards chocolate. I have a weakness towards being selfish and self-absorbed. I have a weakness towards yelling. Pornography goes a tiny bit farther than that in my life. Without careful parameters and accountability, it would most likely still be in control.

I’ve been turning what she said over in my mind, trying to think about myself in a way that doesn’t involve sex addiction. You know what? It doesn’t compute. It’s like playing a game of let’s pretend, but at some point the games ends and it’s back to reality.

Celebrate Recovery’s people would say “I’m a follower of Jesus who struggles with sex addiction.” Now THAT I can say. It allows Jesus to define me instead of the addiction.

So that’s where I am right now, re-identifying  myself (in my head at least!) by Jesus instead of addiction. Since I don’t talk about this much In Real Life, it’s not going to be noticeable, but it is to me, and you my faithful readers.

Thank you, faithful readers, for walking this journey with me. You’d think after almost 18 years with this I’d have a better handle on it. Nope!

Posted in Health, Me

Byetta Again

So…um..yeah. A while back I took a medication called Byetta. It was a good, but difficult experience. I lost 15 pounds, but once I went off it, the weight slowly but surely came back. I’m now back to the weight I started at. The last time I was at the endocrinologist, they gave me a couple samples. Those samples have sat in my fridge ever since. I’ve lacked the courage to start taking it again.

1. It’s a shot.

2. It makes me sick to my stomach–to the point where it feels like morning sickness. This is only in the beginning, but it’s pretty intense (to the point of throwing up a few times).

3. It causes diarrhea. This is not only in the beginning. Since the Glucophage XR that I’m already on can cause this, it’s a just a part of life for me.

The dissatisfaction I have been feeling with my body lately finally caused me to get the Byetta out this morning and take it. Other than an hour or so this morning, I have felt incredibly awful the rest of the day. It’s now 5:02pm. I started this post somewhere around 8:00 am, but then went back to bed. However, all I ate today was a bowl of cereal and a Whips yogurt. And I really haven’t felt hungry. I will eat dinner if I can stay upright. For some reason, this time around it’s also causing weakness/wooziness. When I went to their website, that’s an uncommon side effect, but it’s listed.  I just want to look different and be more healthy. And stupid PCOS makes it very, very difficult.

Posted in 7 Quick Takes

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Yes, it’s an actual 7QT’s from Multiple Mom! The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

2. I woke up this morning with the thought in my head (besides, Why O why did I wake up so early when I don’t have to?) that there are only 3 1/2 weeks left until school. One the one hand, SCHOOL! Yellow buses coming to take my children away all day! SCHOOOOOOL!

On the other hand, Oh…my…word! Middle School, which starts at 8:00am instead of elementary’s 9:15am, and in which my children are the first people on the bus instead of the last ones. Our bus schedule (unless they decide to change it) will be: Bennett & Laura: 6:32. Ethan: 7:05. Catie: 8:45. Yup, Bennett and Laura will have to get on the bus TWO WHOLE HOURS earlier than they did in June. Crazy! I’m not exactly sure how they is going to be accomplished, but we’ll hopefully figure it out. Before the first day.

3. Also, pursuant to #2, the two local middle schoolers (as opposed to Ethan, who goes to school 1.5 hours away) have summer homework. They must read two books from a list given by the school district and then journal about them. 3.5 weeks left, people. The books are out of the library and in our living room, but I don’t think any of them have been opened, let alone read, let alone written about. I hope this is not a portent of things to come.

4. We make our last payment to karate on Tuesday. I made the mistake of signing a year’s contract (instead of a shorter term) and the kids wanted the summer off. Master T gave us the chance to make up the time in the fall, but I’m not jumping at this. While the kids (and I) enjoyed karate, the added $214 each month will be very welcome, as will the evenings NOT spent at the facility.

5. We are still working out the specifics of the Room Change from the last post. I haven’t purchased the four desks yet. Yeah, that’s a large expense for us in August. August is comprised of: Back to school clothes. Back to school supplies. Three children’s birthday gifts. Three children’s birthday party. Plus, each child gets to pick dinner of their choice, and I can guarantee you it will involved pizza or McDonald’s. Having three children at one time is not the cheapest thing to do!

6. Pursuant to the clothing part of #5, I just set up my twice-yearly appointment with my friend-who-has-triplet-boys-two-years-older-than-my-kids. I shop there in the spring and fall. Or late winter and late summer, really. This worked out GREAT up until a year or so ago. Now her boys have hit puberty and hit it hard. They SHOT UP and her clothes are no longer 1-2 sizes bigger but more than. I’m having to buy more at outgrown sales. At least I’m not doing uniforms for three this year. Only Catie is in them and she’ll be wearing Laura’s outgrown ones, much to her disgruntlement.  She doesn’t mind hand-me-downs or used clothing from anyone except her sister. 😛

7. BBC America is rerunning all of the Doctor Who episodes from David Tennant. While Matt Smith (11th) is fine, NO ONE can match David Tennant. Except Tom Baker. If you could take Tom Baker (3rd Doctor) and put him in modern day, I’d be pretty darn happy. Yes, I love Science Fiction! I’m pretty much a nerd’s dream date. 🙂

I hope you are enjoying your summer vacations as much as I am!