A Modern Mom Managing Multiples

For Today

FOR TODAY November 16, 2014

Outside my window… Mostly melted snow, sunny, upper 30’s/lower 40’s. Winter’s comin’ folks!

I am thinking…I should really start some laundry

I am thankful… that we watched our church service from home and consequently had a great conversation with the kids about money and tithing.

In the kitchen… On tap for dinner is pork roast, noodles and green beans. Which will be complained about. Because green beans.

I am wearing… Pajamas. Sorry, sad but true. Rare for me at 12 noon.

I am creating… a menu for the upcoming week. Chili and pizza are all I have so far.

I am going… to dinner with a friend next Saturday and an evening at church to put together gift bags of toiletries for women in shelters.

I am wondering… how long it will take to put away all the filing I have to do.

I am reading… Home Again by Annie Smith and An Unexpected Match by Gayle Roper

I am hoping… to continue on my path TOWARDS God instead of staying AWAY from God.

I am looking forward to… getting to know the women at our new church. Also, I’m nervous because I am shy.

I am hearing…Jim playing Age of Empires, Bennett typing playing Minecraft, Catie and Laura playing on their 3DS’s…oh wait, Catie just put on Disney’s Ant Farm. I am heartily SICK of Disney!

Around the house… our dishwasher is not working great. To get the dishes clean enough we have to run it on “super heavy duty”, which takes a long time and a lot of water. And the repair guy hasn’t showed up yet. I’m annoyed.

I am pondering… If I want to help out on Friday at Catie’s all-school-Thanksgiving feast. I’m not, by nature, a school-helper-outer, but I want to do SOMETHING.

One of my favorite things… We just found Rosatello Rosso, a sweet red wine that both Jim and I love.

A few plans for the rest of the week… Driving the daily carpool to West Chester, Catie’s conferences, Catie’s horseback riding lesson, Catie’s orthodontist appointment, Ethan’s horseback riding lesson, dinner with Carol, dinner at church, policing the daily schoolwork…so much of my life revolves around the kids these days!

7 Quick Takes Friday

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. As of yesterday, I am coasting more quickly towards the big 5-0. At 46, I can still say I’m in my “mid-40’s”, but I’m closer to 50 than 40. You know what? It doesn’t bother me one bit. Other than the lower back pain I have every morning, and the various muscle aches I get when I weed the front garden, and waking up in the middle of the night a lot more often, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the 40’s. I’m guessing the 50’s will only get better…and worse. Better emotionally and spiritually, a little worse physically.

2. As I’m typing here in our schoolroom, I glanced around for a moment and caught sight of one of our dogs. Both used to sack out in the living room on the couches for their naps. One day I had the bright idea to bring downstairs the unused cat bed. Jake, being a small dog (22 lbs), and loving anything that squishes him and puts him into a small space, immediately fell in love. See?

Jake in Bed

How cute is he??

3. Driving the carpool home yesterday afternoon, what started out as liquid precipitation (aka RAIN), about 2/3 the way home switched over to frozen precipitation (aka SNOW). Now, I don’t know about your part of the country, but southeastern PA is not known for getting snow in November. It’s even rare in December. This does not bode well for the upcoming winter. None of us, and I mean NONE OF US, want to live through a repeat of the winter of 2013-2014. Please, Lord, come quickly? :-)

4. Counseling is going well, I would say. And God is doing that thing He does, you know, where you’re working through something and all of a sudden all you hear is songs and sermons and messages about that particular topic? Yeah, that. I’m working though Connor’s death and now Ravi Zacharias is speaking on his new book about suffering. James MacDonald speaks about it. There’s a new song out about it. I GET IT, GOD! (not yelling in a mean way, but in a good way!)

5. I didn’t put this on Facebook, but I’ll say it here: Ethan was kissed ON THE MOUTH a couple of days ago at school. Um, WHAT? The teacher talked to both the girl and Ethan, and then had a general conversation with the whole class. It would never have occurred to Ethan to kiss someone–he’s just not there yet developmentally–and he was kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. My youngest, Catie, has a major crush on a boy at school. She’s 11. He’s 13. I don’t think an 8th grade boy is going to want to have anything to do with a 6th grade girl, but oh, man, I was not expecting all this romantic stuff this year! Bennett and Laura don’t have that yet, for which I am extremely grateful.

6. I just yesterday found out that iPod Touches can do FaceTime and texting. I am extremely excited about this, because it has the potential to put off the phone conversation for a year at least. If they can text and talk to their friends, they don’t need a phone! And it’s cheaper, because there’s no monthly fee. I just have to pay for iPod touches, which, ok, I’m not thrilled about, either, but it’s better than the cost of a phone!

7. A casting director is going to get back to me today about whether Ethan can try out for a Comcast commercial for blind 6-12 year olds even though he’s 13. I’m of two minds…it could be a wonderful experience for him. On the other hand, the filming would be mid-December for three days. That’s three days I’m (or Jim is) not home with the kids, including the day of Laura’s Christmas concert. So, yeah, mixed feelings. But we want to have Ethan do neat things, and quite frankly, how cool is being in a commercial?! Oh, the struggles of being a parent. Hard, but so darn worth it!

15 Second Challenge

One of the blogs I read talked about kissing one’s spouse for 15 seconds each day instead of a peck. I don’t know when it happened, but we’ve settled into a peck marriage. Oh, not always, obviously, but one day I tried to do the 15 second thing. It completely changed the kiss, and my feelings in the process. I told my husband about it and agreed it was a nice idea.

The sad thing is, you guys, that we haven’t done it since. 15 seconds of kissing is just too long, apparently. I blame us both. We’ve gotten so stuck into pecks that being intentional about it is what it’s going to take, and we aren’t doing it.

So I’m challenging you AND myself–try it! Be intentional! Kiss your spouse!

State of the Blogger

We’re already almost done October. How the heck did THAT happen? I’ll be 46 in a few weeks (my children’s English teacher last year is young enough to have been my child. I’m getting OLD!).

Life has been very busy around here of late. The new school schedule, with driving to one or another child’s school each day has taken a toll on me and the house. I’m more snappy with both my husband and my children. I’m frequently overwhelmed. And shutting down because of it. My addiction, while not actively RAGING, has been on the front burner for almost this whole freaking year. And I’m sick of it. Not sick enough to stop, obviously, but sick of it nevertheless. *wry smile

I’ve been in counseling for about a month. I don’t know that I’ve seen any major changes, but it’s really nice to talk to someone about stuff that’s going on–parenting, addiction, God…all are difficulties now. She gives me homework (which Jim finds endlessly amusing). One of the things is to be more social with friends and family. Being that this is my birthday month I’ll have birthday money and am meeting with not only my mother and sister for lunch, but four other gals for lunch/dinner all on separate occasions! It’s a banner month for me, being that I can go literally months without seeing anyone outside of Jim and my next-door neighbor.  And I definitely need that adult-recharging time.

This past weekend was the annual Queen for a Day, which I love and look forward to all year. Worship time, brunch, visiting with other caregivers (moms/wives) of special needs individuals, spa things like massages, nails, foot rubs, satin hands, and a lovely tea room with a harpist and treats. I come away refreshed and feeling wonderful. And wanting more information for and about Ethan.

Financially we’re keeping our heads above water. Just. August stunk (triplet’s birthday!). September stunk (back to school). October stunk (Jim’s trip to Beaver Island, MI). November SHOULD be ok, and there will be that magical 3rd paycheck in December that will pay for Christmas. Thank goodness!

Have any of you “wandered away” from God and come back? I’ve done it before, but am not sure how to get back. Honestly. Any input from you would be welcome.

A Beautiful Day

For the first time (ok, except for the Chica Show), Ethan has shown an interest in something extracurricular. A few weekends ago we attended an open house at the farm where Catie takes horse riding lessons. Ethan rode around a circle two times and then wanted to do their mini-lesson. He loved it. LOVED IT. And then asked if he could have lessons like Catie. Could he? OH YEAH!

He had his first lesson today. I didn’t know what to expect–maybe just them leading him around–but it ended up being a proper lesson. He learned the different parts of tack, how to climb on (that was very shaky!), how to start and stop and how to turn. It was amazing! And he is so excited to go back for his second lesson in two weeks. Love it!

Stuck

Emotionally that’s how I’ve felt lately. Very, very STUCK. Whether it’s unwillingness or inability to get past these issues in my life, I don’t know. Hence counseling that starts tomorrow night.

1. 13 years and still having difficulty with my son Connor’s death. We had, I guess, miracles with the others. Why couldn’t God have made HIM a miracle too? And while I get, on some level at least, that our life here is fleeting and like the grass withers and dies and heaven is forever, I don’t think it’s wrong to want to know your son on earth instead of waiting until you die and actually go to heaven. I want him HERE. And that’s impossible. And I can’t get past it.

2. Pursuant to #1, my relationship with God is rather strained. As in, nonexistent. There is no church. There isn’t much praying. There isn’t any reading of the bible. There is some listening to Christian radio–both music and teaching. There is some willingness to talk to a friend. 

3. Pursuant to #2, Sex addiction. Yeah, that. If it wasn’t for the fact that both my PC and cell were completely monitored, I would most likely still be off in the deep end. I lost most of August to it. Not exaggerating. In a rare moment of sanity, I had Jim disable certain things on my iPhone and now I only have access to monitored internet and no book apps. And I cannot add apps. And I am not so far gone that I don’t care that Jim or my AP sees the filth that I was reading online. But it’s still there. And it still needs to be dealt with.

And I need to get UN-stuck.

7 Quick Takes Friday

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Screech! It’s past the middle of September! How did we get here?? We’re finishing up the third week of cyber school and I’m STILL trying to get some semblance of routine with driving, home facilitating with school and housework. Oh, and laundry. I’ve had to re-wash laundry 4 times this week because I kept forgetting about it. And I can’t even blame it on the washer–it’s on the same floor I’m on practically all day (not in the basement, where I forgot about it all the time).

2. On a more serious note, I had an intake evaluation for counseling this week. Deep breath. Boy, was I nervous! I have done counseling off and on for more than 20 years for all sorts of things: family relationships, addiction, marriage, etc. However, it’s been awhile since I’ve done it. Talking about any of my issues, especially addiction, is difficult. But I had reached the point where, honestly, what I’m doing is just not working anymore. So I think a professional’s opinion and input would be rather helpful at getting me past where I’m stuck. (which I will cover in a future post, I promise!)

3. This was a banner week in my extended family. My parents celebrated their SIXTIETH wedding anniversary. SIX ZERO, people! That’s amazing! According to Google, without which I would be completely lost, it’s their Diamond anniversary. Way to Go Mom and Dad!

Also in my extended family, my sister and brother in law celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary. On the same day. I remember being so happy for my sister at her wedding. We adored (and continue to adore!) the man she chose to spend the rest of her life with. May they one day celebrate their 60th too!

4. I had a neighbor over for coffee this morning. While that doesn’t sound like much, we’ve been in the same neighborhood for 6 years or so, have children the same age and are even both believers. And this is the first time we sat down to chat. Ever. So yeah, I’m looking forward to more coffee talks with her. Women friends ROCK.

5. I made these Fish Tacos this week. YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!! One of the best things I’ve had in a long time. I love when what I make at home is restaurant-good! Mine weren’t QUITE this picturesque, but they were delicious!

6. The girls and I watched the 2nd half of Singin’ in the Rain this week. a) they both loved it b) they want to watch the rest of it c) I wonder if I can translate that to seeing OTHER wonderful musicals? Because there are so many out there!

7. My mother in law contacted me for the person I used for Connor’s gravestone 13 years ago (for her mother’s marker). I knew exactly where the information was (notebook from that time period) and she was still in business. My MIL remembered that we said how wonderful she was and wanted to use her as well. I think that people who work in the “death industry” (for lack of a better phrase!) tend to be extra-nice. I’m sure there are jerks. And maybe the people we worked with were jerks to others–maybe they were extra nice because it was the death of a baby. I don’t know. But everyone was SO kind to us and I’m glad that at least one of them is getting more business because of that.

For those of you who follow my posts, I just wanted to give you a quick shout out. It kind of freaks me out that people do that. So Hello! Thank you! I appreciate you! Feel free to comment! :-)

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