We had the weekly prayer meeting at our house last night (as an aside, it’s a great impetus to clean!) after our monthly deacon meeting, also at our house. The pastor was talking about being authentic. Then it came time to go around in a circle and ask for prayer requests. And I went back and forth about what to say.
On the one hand, I am sincerely STRUGGLING right now with my addiction. Between ovulating and Jim being unemployed, I just want to medicate. It’s been a really rough week or so. I’ve screwed up. I’ve repented. I’ve confessed and emailed my Accountability Partner. And screwed up again. Lather, rinse, repeat.
On the other hand, not one of the people there last night knows about this. I’ll say it again, sex addiction is not like alcoholism. As much as sin is sin is, they just are not in the same place with social acceptance. And sex addiction being what it is, generally speaking, it’s best to keep it within a same-gender accountability. There were four men there last night, only one of which was my husband.
So I kept my silence. I prayed silently for myself, adding to the out-loud prayers that another prayed for me for peace about Jim’s job situation. And I come here and be honest instead. Anonymously honest, which is safer.