I’m meeting an old friend today for coffee. She and I were very close a long time ago; she was even a bridesmaid in my wedding 15 years ago.
10 years ago she left for the mission field. Almost 9 years ago I had a whole passel of children. The friendship, without careful tending, changed.
I’ve prayed about this time together. I don’t want it to be awkward or uncomfortable, but I’m aware that it might be. She and I never had that “pick up where you left off” kind of friendship. (Aren’t those nice?) We might fumble for things to say outside of the “tell me what you’ve been up to” layer.
I used to have many close friends. In high school there was a group of four of us (we called ourselves the four mouseketeers, yes, we were silly). Through Facebook I keep in touch with two of them, but am only somewhat really in touch with the third. In college I had an extremely close friend. Unhealthily close. Eventually I had to stop being her friend because I couldn’t handle the drama anymore. That was hard. I had another friend after my children were born–she also had triplets and was such an encouragement to me. At some point she stopped answering my calls. I’ll never know what happened. That was hard as well.
Currently I have several good women friends, but no CLOSE friends. I just remarked to Jim yesterday that he’s my best friend. And that’s not a bad thing. But let’s be honest. There are just things you can talk to with a woman that hubby has no desire to talk about!
I do believe that there are often seasons of friendship for women. We have friends when we are single, different friends when we are married but have no children, and still other friends when we add little ones into our lives. There are sometimes very special friends that are lifelong–that transcend the seasons. My mother has been friends with someone for almost 70 years. Wow! Now that’s amazing!
You know what? If I had to pick someone other than my husband that I’m closest to, it would be my mother. I talk to her almost every single day of my life except weekends when we’re just so crazy around here. Other than when I was a teenager and we fought a lot, she and I have been fairly close since I was in college, and especially so since I’ve had children. There hasn’t been and won’t be a season to our friendship. She’s one of the reasons I wanted to have a daughter so badly–I wanted to be adult friend with her. And now I have two!
How about you? Do you have lifelong friends or do your friendships have seasons?