Posted in Marriage

Respect

Dipping my toe in the Jon and Kate arena, for a brief moment…

If you’ve read any of the magazine covers while you’re stuck in the grocery line, or seen headlines on the internet, or have followed the show and its buzz, you know that something is fishy in Jon and Kate’s marriage. What may or may not have happened, I truly believe is between them and God. I’ve prayed for them, and will continue to do so. And I’m not going to point fingers–for the most part. But one thing I really, REALLY want to come out and say.

She does not honor her husband in front of others.

Lo, these many years ago, when Jim and I were broken up and I was going through intensive counseling for addiction, one of the items that my counselor and I covered was something somewhat ancillary to the addiction. Men and Women Relating and all that that entails. One of the things she drove home the importance of was honoring my husband (at that point I was hopeful it might actually be Jim) of course in the home, but especially outside of it. To NEVER, EVER, EVER tear him down in public.

I’m not perfect–not by a country mile–but I work really hard at this one. And it’s work. Whenever women get together, it seems to be a natural thing to just pound ones’ husband into the ground. He doesn’t do this, he does do that, he doesn’t help out enough, he’s a jerk, he’s thoughtless, etc, ad infinitum. I don’t get it. You married this person. You love this person. Why do you talk about him that way? Is that really the opinion you want me to have of them?

Kate has done this way too often. She doesn’t honor her husband on camera (and one must assume she acts the same in private). That has to be hard for him.

I hope they can get some marriage counseling and heal this rift. I hope they can start treating each other the right way. I hope they stay together. For the kids as well as for themselves.

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