Posted in Health

On Giving Myself Shots

Subtitle: Man, I hate doing this every day.

I have skipped my Byetta for the last three days. My thighs are dancing with thankfulness. But my stomach is hungry.

It’s a toss up as to which is winning.

I’m not REQUIRED to be on Byetta. I’m not diabetic, I only have PCOS. However, it has helped me lose the 15 lbs I was able to lose. Wait. It was COMPLETELY UTTERLY RESPONSIBLE for the 15 lbs I was able to lose. Feeling full after a single serving was a new feeling. Feeling not hungry around the clock was a new feeling. Being able to get from breakfast to lunch without HAVING TO HAVE a snack was a new feeling. Watching the numbers on my scale go DOWN was a wonderful new feeling.

However.

I’m allowed to stick myself in six places:
1. My upper arms. Um…I haven’t done that yet because I haven’t yet figured out the logistics of it.
2. My stomach. I’ve done only three times because it really freaks me out. And it feels like I’m poking my stomach with a needle. Eu.
3. My upper thighs. This is where, since last July, I have been daily sticking myself.

Some days the needle doesn’t hurt going in, the medicine doesn’t hurt when I press the plunger, I don’t bleed, it doesn’t hurt when I pull my pants up and it doesn’t hurt when the medicine spreads. Most days I get pain from at least one of those things. Which causes some stress when I sit down in the morning to make myself do it. I have come to where I need to close my eyes and just let the needle somewhat fall into me, press the plunger down, count to five and THEN I can open my eyes to pull it out. And blot the blood. And stand up to go back into the kitchen to get some breakfast now, thankyouverymuch.

When my endocrinologist brought up the subject of Byetta I took a few weeks to think about it. I loved the thought of what it would give me, but the idea of giving myself a shot everyday–EVERY DAY–was more than a little daunting. In the end, I took the class, got the medicine, waited more than a month and eventually tried it.

And lost 15 ugly lbs.

Please don’t for a moment think I put myself into the same category as those with diabetes who must stick their fingers 4 times each day and take insulin shots. I bow in humbleness before them.

But I have my own journey to walk. And it hurts.

Here’s to hoping I have the willpower to do it tomorrow.

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