Posted in Christian, Misc.

Feeling Sad

I’m attending a funeral tomorrow for a friend’s father. I don’t know the particulars of how, or even why, but a few days ago he killed himself. He was 57 years old and a believer.

This is the second Christian I knew that killed themselves. The first one suffered from debilitating depression. Either she laid on the couch from depression or she slept her life away from the meds. She felt there was no winning and decided to leave her husband and child and join the Lord.

There was a time, about 15 years ago, when I contemplated suicide. Life was pretty horrible. I had just admitted to myself the whole addiction thing and was trying to cope with recovery. Recovery for a sex addict, let me tell you, it ain’t fun. Especially as a Christian woman. Nope, not a picnic.

In the end, though, I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t do it to my family or friends. The devastation would have been a lot.

And that’s what his widow and two sons are going through right now. Devastation. For someone to have loved the Lord and been married to woman for 38 years to suddenly give up. I just don’t get it. Yes, we are to realize our home is not this world and to have the hope of heaven. But not to anticipate it so much that we take the timing out of God’s hands and into our own.

If you think of it, please pray for our friend, Ernie and his mom. I truly cannot imagine what they are going through right now.

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