I have an Accountability Partner–sort of like a sponsor except not as structured. I have agreed to be honest with her and she has agreed to listen and not judge and offer help and guidance and prayer. And accountability.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines accountable as: Liable to being called to account; answerable. See Synonyms at responsible.
So I have to give an accounting of my behavior. Some might think that’s pretty sad as an adult that I have to do this. But as humans, and especially as Christians, we are interdependent, not INdependent. We need each other. I cannot go around, pretending that my actions do not affect anyone other than myself. That’s foolish and wrong. With an alcoholic it’s very obvious that they are cheating their family. With sex addiction, it’s much sneakier, more quiet and hidden. Which is why addicts need accountability. Someone to whom they bring their sins into the light with. If the sin is kept in the dark, it festers and grows and gains power. If brought into the Light, it weakens, it diminishes and eventually loses all power over its victim (that would be me, People!).
When I “fall off the wagon” (and why is it called a wagon, anyway?!), if I hide it, well, let’s just say that my life quickly becomes unmanageable. However, if I call or email my AP and admit that I’ve struggled or given in or what-have-you, then the sin loses it’s grip on me and I can begin the trek back onto that proverbial wagon again.
Sex addiction is unlike alcoholism or drug addiction in that, unless you are single and celibate, you have to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way. It’s not a matter of not drinking or doing drugs. Sex is a part of a healthy marriage and must be dealt with in a healthy manner. When I use it to self-medicate, it’s not healthy and cheats my spouse out of what he rightfully deserves.
And thus endeth my lesson on accountability and sex addiction.