Posted in Addiction, God

I’m Back on the Wagon Again

I fell off the wagon BIG TIME yesterday. I have to admit that I didn’t think my accountability program would catch it, but it did. I emailed my new accountability partner this morning, but haven’t really reconciled with God yet. That’s the hardest part sometimes. I struggle with being sorry–I mean the REAL sorry that you have to be to make repentance work. Not there yet.

It’s hard being addicted to your own brain chemicals. They are readily available, free of charge, legal, and no one can see–no tracks or bloody nose or vacant eyes or weird smell in the air.

The think about this (and I guess any) addiction, is that it interrupts my relationship with God.
I CAN’T pray because I can’t serve two masters. This morning, when I was reading about Melanie going home with hospice care, most likely to die, I started to pray for them. Then I remembered that there was still a roadblock in my way. I prayed anyway, but know I need to talk to Him about me.


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