Midpoint

A few posts ago I talked about the kids all leaving the nest at the same time. It’s been on my mind of late and I wanted to post some more.

10 years ago we had three children living at the Christiana Hospital’s NICU. One was in heaven and one wasn’t even a gleam in her daddy’s eye yet.

10 years from now, Lord Willing, the last one will be a Freshman in college, following in her big brothers’ and sister’s footsteps.

10 years ago I was just trying to figure out what motherhood was all about and was terrified about the idea of bringing them home and being responsible for their daily well-being.

10 years from now I will be trying to figure out what my life will be like when I am not defined by the term “mother”. That job will be mostly done. I’m sure they’ll visit. One or two may even live at home and commute to college. But the active parenting–the daily instruction and teaching and bringing up into adulthood–that will be largely over and they will be making their own choices (and living with the consequences!).

10 years ago Jim and I were only married six years and were feeling our way into Mommy and Daddy instead of just husband and wife.

10 years from now we’ll be rediscovering each other, I think, and figuring out what the rest of our lives will look like.

10 years ago I retired from full time work to be a full time stay at home mother.

10 years from now I expect to fully return to the workforce. In what capacity, I don’t know. I’ll be in my early to mid 50′s. The physical nature of being a professional organizer is not something I see being able to do for the rest of my life, although I enjoy it thoroughly. I think I might want to be a secretary/administrative assistant again. I enjoyed doing it when I worked. I think I might enjoy it again. I’m glad I have time to think about it!

10 years ago I was learning to open up and let my children into my heart and life.

10 years from now I will be learning to let go.

It’s an interesting view from the midpoint!

Quiet Time Conviction

Way back when in January of 2010 I started a personal bible study on 1 Peter, Putting On a Gentle and Quiet Spirit.

Stop laughing. I’m serious.

Yeah, I get the irony. I’m rather the opposite of gentle and quietly spiritual. Which is exactly why I picked it.

Fast forward, um, almost a year and a half. (I’m nothing if not NOT regular.) I Peter 2:21-25. The book I’m doing has you read the passage, answer questions about the passage, and then “Your Heart’s Answer.” Sometimes it’s, well, dull. Not this time.

- We know that Jesus committed no sin. To follow in His steps, what known sins will you eliminate from your life? Pornography. Almost three months and counting, people.

- We know that Jesus spoke no sin. What steps will you take to control your speech? Count to 10 before I yell.

Um, notsomuch. I SCREAMED at Laura this morning. At the top of my lungs. How can one 9 year old make me lose it so quickly?

Both Jim and I agree it’s been much more difficult lately with the kids….they are definitely challenging the boundaries and our patience with things. It’s a constant struggle to keep my temper (and I lose it more quickly with them to begin with).

This Your Heart’s Answer has really been pounding at me all week. Sometimes I’ve done better because of it. Sometimes, like this morning, utter failure.

Tomorrow will hopefully (and prayerfully) be one of those better days. (Unless we’re raptured, and then all will be well anyway) (sorry, I just had to put that out there!)

My Take on Kids’ TV

My kids think I’m strict. I’m rather proud of that. I’ll let them watch TV–even non-educational TV–within certain limits. With the exception of things like Scooby Doo (where there isn’t anything objectionable), I don’t want them watching shows where the main characters are older than they are. Like, they don’t watch The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Or Wizards of Waverly Place. Please don’t get me wrong–there is nothing inherently wrong with those shows.

But my kids are 9 and 8. They don’t need to be thinking about the opposite sex or dating or any of that kind of thing. They don’t need to worry about clothes or peer pressure about drinking. Or sex or drugs. Nope. They need to be 8 and 9. They need to worry about homework and having to clean their rooms and get along with their siblings.

So many shows–good and bad–are trying to force our kids to grow up too quickly. Maybe I’m reactionary, but since that happened to me with pornography, I’d rather my kids stay innocent, thankyouverymuch.

Parenting Pain

Laura was nominated as one of the three best spellers in her class, so today she took part in the spelling bee at her school. We have practiced and I felt she was ready. She was #3 in a row of 12 kids–all fourth graders. Whoever won today goes to the district-wide bee in January. Last year Laura came in 2nd and went to the district bee, where she misspelled somewhere in the middle. It was very exciting. Today…notsomuch. She stood up for her first word “length” and spelled it incorrectly (lenght). I felt so badly for her! When we got to see her afterwards she just fell apart and was crying. I was scrambling for the words to comfort her (not my strong suit, I assure you). I had hoped she at least wouldn’t be the first to go out–she was 2nd–but it was in the first round.

One of the hardest things as a parent is to see your child in pain, be it physical, emotional, mental…whatever. Our first instinct is to “fix it”. Kissing booboos as babies and toddlers works great. As they get older that not only isn’t possible, it’s not even something we should be doing. Life ISN’T fair (anyone who tells you differently is selling something) (Movie name anyone?). And if the lessons and disappointments have to come at a spelling bee in fourth grade, then, well, let them come. At least at this point, I can hug and console that there will be another year. When she’s 23 and has her heart broken it might not be the case.

Where Things Stand September 2010

So I haven’t do this in a really long time.

Getting Healthy: I would classify this as so-so. I’m struggling with snacking. Not healthy ones, either. The weight has crept up again, which I am SO not happy about. I want to get it down to the low 150′s (well, ok, I’d love to be 135,  but I live in the real world!)

Education: We’re into the 3rd week of school and things are starting to become routine. The kids know they come home, get a snack and do homework. So far, no major problems with it. Everyone seems to like their teachers, which is a good thing.

Finances: In a word, TIGHT. Very tight. I need to pick up some work and maybe have Jim do some on-call time or something. Seriously, TIGHT.

Spirit: Um, well…um…now that the kids are back to their schedule, I need to get back to mine. I have two good bible study books that I’d like to do. I just need to “Just Do It”. Prayer is going well, though–Kate and Charlie have been constantly in my thoughts and therefore in my prayers. In church news, on Sunday we voted on a new pastor. Difficult, hard, but wonderful. We’re hoping that we don’t lose anyone from the decision. It was majority, not unanimous.

Family:  Still struggling with that one certain child right now. Bennett is still very snuggly. Ethan is taking a break from in-home therapy while they try to find another one. Jim still has his job and I’m working a little as well. I’d like to get better control of the house, but that will come as the time goes on and the kids stay in school.

How are you doing? I miss hearing from you all!

Being In Love

Bennett has fallen in love. Before you say “Awww”, let me assure you it’s not some cute, little 9 year old girl in pigtails. It’s his mother.

Yes, Me.

If I’m in a room, he’s there. If I’m sitting down, he’s leaning over to kiss me and hug me and climb on me. If I’m standing up, he’s hugging me.

Which is sweet. The first few times. After that, not so much. And trust me, although on the BMI scale he’s low in percentages, he’s still NINE and therefore not a little baby or toddler. He’s big and bony and heavy.

I know this stage will end. And I’m of two minds with that. 1. Relief. 2. Awwww. Because I also know that in just a few, short years I will be low man on the totem pole in terms of favorite people. So I think I’m going to try to savor this a little.

Punishment to Fit the Crime

Earlier in the day Bennett had an accident. He took the underwear off. At some point this evening while I was practicing my worship set, he and Laura thought it would be funny to put said underwear on Ethan’s pillow.

Bennett and Laura are spending the night without their pillows.

Ok, WHO PRAYED??

One of my regular bloggers linked to this blog today, which was a DIRECT answer to yesterday’s post.

I am blown away at how timely the message is to me. And unable to deny that God directly had a hand in it.

Wow. Just wow.

Parenting Challenges

I’m at an interesting point with one of my children. Wait. Let me start this by saying that I unequivocally love my children. All of them. I carried them within my body. Nothing BUT NOTHING could change that.

However.

I just don’t like one of them right now. This child is apparently going through a difficult stage right now, although that stage seems to have started at birth and kept right on going.  This child is dramatic, whiny, complaining….it’s very difficult parenting this child because they aren’t very likable. I just started praying today about this, because it’s actually becoming difficult to be around them (sorry for the plural pronoun, but I don’t even want to give away gender, let alone name) because many of the interactions are negative. MANY, if not most. And I don’t want to dislike my own child.

Please pray, if that’s something you do.

Object Lesson

So, what did I read yesterday? James 3:8-12

8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.

And what did I do this morning? Yell at my daughter and cut her down to size. Yes, folks, I can read that and less than 24 hours later do the exact opposite of what Jesus wants for me.

When I worked full time in an office I struggled with my tongue–with gossiping and just idle chatter. When I quit to be a SAHM, that somewhat went away because, well, there was no one to gossip to or about! And God has really gotten ahold of my mouth (not my ears, though, because they still like to hear it) in that regards. But yelling? And being sarcastic? And downright mean? Oh, yes, those are still alive and well and spewing their poison all over my children. Just yesterday I was asking God for a gentle heart.

It obviously didn’t appear overnight.