Hyphen

Today I attended a funeral for an old friend–old both ways. Betty was 90 when she passed away last week, and my friendship with her started in 1989. We worked together for a little over three years and in those years she was the closest thing to a grandmother that I had (my one grandmother died when I was five and I have few memories of her).

The priest gave a very short message  before her son spoke. You may have heard it before, but it bears repeating. He spoke about the fact that when you look at a gravestone, you see two dates separated by a hyphen. While the dates are somewhat important, the truly big stuff lies in that hyphen. Our whole lives lie in that little hyphen. Her son Curt spoke about that hyphen; he filled in the details. Hers was a life well and fully lived. Although a Catholic by birth, later in life she attended a bible-teaching church and came to love the Lord. I believe I’ll see her someday, which is why there were no tears today. I hadn’t seen her in many years–she had moved to a different state to live first with her daughter and then in a nursing home when the Alzheimer’s became too advanced. My memories of her are from about 8 years ago, before the downhill trek happened. I’m glad. I know she’s been made perfect and whole and is worshiping the Lord in Spirit and in truth and, best of all, in person.

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Sunday Quiet

It’s the lull between church and lunch–they had a little snack there so their tummies aren’t screaming yet–and I thought I’d drop by and say Hi. After the snow on Friday, we’re supposed to be up in the mid 50′s today, with full sunshine. Which, believe me, is extremely welcome. Spring is my all-time favorite time of year. And after this past winter, well, it’s even more welcome than normal!

Easter is three weeks from today. I’m counting five weeks of sobriety right now, so that’s good. It was great to take communion with a clean heart. Jim’s even home in PA this week instead of leaving this afternoon for NH. Now, next week he leaves for SC, but I’m not thinking about that yet (la, la, la, I can’t hear you!).

I think, unexpectedly, I’m feeling content. So often I’m not, to my dismay. I wish I could say my moods don’t hinge so much on my children and their behavior, but it seems it is often the case. Right now all is very peaceful. Church was good, worship was good, and it’s shaping up to be a good week, and everyone (at this moment) is getting along.

Thanks, God.

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So It’s December

Please accept my humble apologies. Apparently I posted three times in November. Not only is that not the norm for me in a month, that’s not even the norm for me in a week! I will endeavor to be better in December.

Then again, December is one of my busiest months, so I’m not going to make any promises!

I haven’t been up to anything spectacular–mostly regular home stuff. Jim’s home during the day, though, which definitely changes things. I am out a few times more with being involved in the food bank and the local churches community outreach.

We hosted Thanksgiving for both sides of the family. I wrote down an hour-by-hour schedule of food prep and the day went very smoothly. I’m glad, however, that my sister will have Christmas! Black Friday I spent comfortably ensconced in my office chair and I basically finished everyone in my family except my husband and his father (whom Jim buys for anyway!). Trying to figure out what my husband wants in a Christmas present is SO DIFFICULT. You’d think, after all these years, I’d know him and what would be a good present for him. Nope!

He’s actually away tonight visiting his sister in Philadelphia. Hopefully the children will go down quietly (hah, she says) and I’ll be able to catch up on Glee and the Good Wife (neither of which Jim watches).

We applied for private insurance yesterday. It was, to say the least, interesting. Trying to remember my medical history for the past five years! Jim was incredibly easy–he broke his arm and has allergies. That’s it.  Me? PCOS. Allergies. Hypothyroidism. Insulin resistance. Fun Fun Fun! The nurse I spoke to from Aetna was very nice. They’ll let us know within 7-10 business days. Jim has already been approved, the fink.

Well, this has been a nice catching up kind of chat. Hopefully I’ll see you soon!

Windy Wednesday

We’ve got gusts up to 45 mph over here, so I’m just going to blow in and out again.

Hah. Yeah, I know. I’m not the funny one in my marriage, either.

Monday was an annual trip to duPont Hospital for Bennett’s checkup. Tuesday I ended up working 2 hours longer than I expected. Today I help out with the Parkesburg Food Bank and then have the deacon meeting tonight as well as prayer meeting right after it. Good things, all of them. But keeping me busy and out of the house when I desperately need to stay home and clean and get laundry done.

I’m “just saying no” to going out either Thursday or Friday. My house is getting cluttered and messy again and that’s just not ok with me. Or Jim.

He has  a phone interview in 18 minutes. I’m slightly on pins and needles right now. If you by chance should feel the desire to pray, it would be very much welcome.

Confession is Good for the Soul, if not the Waistline

I made tapioca.

 

And ate it all myself.

 

In two sittings.

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It’s Gonna Be a Good Day

Because I get to meet Rowan today. He’s my niece Kelly’s kitten. SO CUTE!

 

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Flylady and Facebook

I find it somewhat ironic that FlyLady, arbiter of all things uncluttered, pelts your in-box with emails the moment your join her group (thereby cluttering it up). It annoyed me so much that I would just go on a delete spree. But then, yesterday, I found out that she has a Facebook group, whereby she send out her missions and updates etc. I immediately joined and just as immediately got out of her email group. Many things I love,  a blank in-box is among them.

Speaking of email, I also switched my freecycle notifications to “digest”, whereby I only get one email per day instead of a bunch. Now if I could just hide from the junk mail!

Thoughts on Ending It All

No, not me. I’m fine. Really.

But friends of ours aren’t. Late winter 2009 our friends’ father committed suicide. He was a strong believer and lover of God. What they are assuming (or at least, what they are telling people) is that the medications he was on came together in such a way as to cause him to do it.

I can buy that. He was on a LOT of meds.

It was a heart wrenching funeral. ANY funeral is difficult, but this was devastating. Our friends were grief-stricken. Their mother was…numb. She hasn’t processed it yet.

One and one half years passed. The mother, who had been married to the man for 38 years and also loved the Lord, never seemed to get past his death. She was a shadow of her self–seemingly cheery at parties, but never quite right.

This past weekend she, too, took her own life.

I don’t even know what sentence to write after that.

As a side note, and this is NOT bragging so please don’t read it as such, I had to make that choice at one point. I have been in deep, seemingly unending pain. I contemplated ending it. Seriously. When I started Recovery, it was beyond overwhelming.  But in the end I perservered. And chose life.

I knew another Christian, years ago, who took their own life. She suffered from depression so profound that she either laid on the couch in a lethargy or slept all day from the side-effects of the meds. She left behind a husband and young daughter.

And that’s the devastation of suicide–what it does to those left behind.  It’s the ultimate in selfishness–ending my difficulties and pain and causing you more. Because even if they have the hope of heaven, the pain just cuts you off at the knees.

The funeral is on Saturday. I’m not looking forward to it.

Bad Blogger, Bad!

So I know I’ve become somewhat incommunicado. It’s not on purpose. Honest! I still love you guys. But my schedule has completely altered and I haven’t yet fit regular blogging in yet. I used to post after the kids went to school. Well, um, that ain’t working anymore!

Work continues apace on the house. The electrician has been out the past two days and will be back next week (holiday weekend). Everything has walls, Tyvek, a roof and shingles now. There isn’t any drywall yet, but the garage has windows and a door, and the “room” upstairs has a floor. That’s all it’s going to get due to budget constraints. No walls, or insulation. Plumbing comes next week, as does the inspector. I fully expect to pass, as everything seems well constructed. Jim (being a former contractor) is rather picky and he’s pleased, so I am as well.

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Sunday Drive By

It was not my intention to have a silent blog week! I’m sorry! Ethan was off school, we had swimming lessons, I got sick, we were busy, yada, yada, yada…

The first few weeks of summer vacation are always a getting-used-to-it kind of thing. Ethan starts back to school for his extended school year program on Tuesday, so that will help a little. It’s been a lot of arguing, fighting etc, but I expect that for summer time. They just get on each others’ nerves because they are together so much.

The addition is coming along…the mudroom has walls and a roof with tar paper and Tyvek, but nothing on the inside yet. The garage is framed for walls and has the roofing trusses, but that’s it. It’s great finally seeing structures instead of big holes in the ground!

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