The Light is Bright

when you are on the other side of the tunnel, that is.

After 9 weeks I’m back to being a stay at home mom. Here’s what I learned from the experience:

1. I am not wired to work outside the house all day and then come home and manage to keep up with everything that needs to be done. Laundry, cooking and the occasional clearing-off-the-counters happened. Oh, and I cleaned the toilets once or twice.

2. If I am cheery at work with nice adults, I have a much more difficult time being cheery at home with children who are not so nice. It’s like I have only a certain amount of cheeriness and then it gets used up. And since I’m not going to be grouchy around adults, my family will bear the brunt of it. I didn’t know this about myself.

3. Seeing the house pile up and not having the energy to deal with it made me rather excited about the idea of being finally home to deal with it.

4. I made a better wife than Jim does. Go figure!

5. I look forward, after the children are grown, to rejoining the workforce. I actually like working in an office. I enjoy being administrative help, although I certainly like professional organizing’s pay better! I got many kudos and thank you’s from the people I worked with/for, which was really, pretty darn nice. Families don’t, normally, do that. Jim calls them “attaboys”. They make life a little nicer!

So, all that said, I’m very glad to be at home again. I have a HUGE paperwork pile to tackle, which includes some very important, time-sensitive insurance re-enrollment stuff. I’m happy to finally have the time and energy to do this.

Oh, and one more thing–5 WEEKS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD!!

Two-Thirds

That’s how far I am through my temp job. I enjoy the actual working–interacting with adults, doing adult work etc. But the SAHM part of me really misses how the house used to look and having guilt-free free time. If I’m not doing laundry or something else productive, I’m feeling guilty. I think I need a wife. That would help. I have only three weeks left and am very happy the light is visible at the end of the tunnel and I’ll soon be able to grocery shop on Mondays again. Because Sunday night grocery shopping stinks.

See you all soon!

Bear With Me

So I’ve been working for a week. I mean, working for PAY. In an OFFICE. NOT ORGANIZING.

Rewind life 11 years ago, pre-children, and life was somewhat similar. Except now I have four children who wear a heck of a lot of laundry and a husband who works sometimes-utterly-insane-amounts of hours and can’t pitch in with the house stuff a whole lot. Or at all. Which explains why not only is my dishwasher full of dirty dishes, but so is my sink.  There are no clean spoons. Or mugs. Or, apparently, socks or my elder daughter, because laundry has also fallen by the wayside.

How do you working moms DO IT??

I leave the house the instant my kids leave for the bus stop (8:45) and come home at 3:20, in time for Ethan’s bus. All that stuff that used to get done in the intervening hours now has to happen before bedtime. And it’s just not. We still have elder/deacon meetings, karate, variety show practice, good news club, science fairs….and all of THAT has to happen before bedtime as well!

Again, how do you working moms DO IT?? Do you just give up getting enough sleep? Because I’ve done that when the kids were little and managed to survive it, but I did not have to interact in a coherent manner on the phone in a professional atmosphere.

So, all that said, this blog is definitely going to be taking a backseat. The instant I press “publish” I’m going to finish filling that dishwasher and clear off the kitchen counter. I hope. Then pick up the kids and make sure they do their homework. And then do laundry so I have something to wear to work tomorrow. Then fix dinner. And put the kids to bed.  And then hopefully see my husband (who worked 73 hours last week–13 of those on Sunday alone!)

I’ll miss you. And I hope that you’ll be with me when April rolls around and my temp job ends.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. I dabbled in karma yesterday. Or, to put a Christian spin on it, I did to others as I wished that they had done to me: I visited a friend on bedrest. I HATED bedrest. I came down in the morning, waddling the whole way, got breakfast and then laid on the couch. All. Day. Long. Until it was time to laboriously climb upstairs to bed at night. I was so lonely and bored, words cannot describe. So the instant I learned about my friend on bedrest, I immediately emailed with “I’m coming!” because, really, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

2. Speaking of worst enemies, here comes my big toe dipping into politics for a second. There has been a LOT of cheering about Osama Bin Laden’s death this week. Which, honestly, saddens me. Are we so inured to death from the media that we cannot mourn a real human being dying? He was a child of God; Jesus died for him. The fact that he didn’t believe is something to be sad about. We KNOW where he is, and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, either. Ok, except for Satan. He IS my worst enemy. Yes, bin Laden was the mastermind behind much evil. Yes, he deserved to be brought to justice for what he has done. But the cheering and outright gladness for his death is over the top.

3. Switching back to normal life topics, what is the deal with sticking tongues out? I am constantly hearing “MOM! Catie stuck her tongue out at me!” I’m sure I did it at that age. But, oh brother, am I ready for this particular stage to be done with.

4. We had to have “The Talk” with Catie this week. One of our neighbors’ children has been talking about sex in a very inappropriate way. I talked to his father who talked to him, but unfortunately the damage was done. She and I sat together and went through Book 2 of God’s Design for Sex. Her comment? “Euuu!” Let’s hope she keeps that point of view for many years!

5. Jim’s been working for two months now, but we are still definitely playing catch up with finances. We had some debt before all this started and only added to it, as well as having to borrow money from family. It’s going to take some time to dig ourselves out of the hole. In the meantime, other than our special Friday night pizza and cheap movie, we’re not doing anything extra. I can’t WAIT until we are out of debt and finally able to save some money again!

6. Pursuant to #5, he was able to convince the New Hampshire people that telecommuting made a lot more sense for them financially. It was costing them upwards of $1000 each time he went up. So he’s been home for two weeks and we are very grateful to have him at the dinner table each night, as well as to help put the kids to bed. Splitting the parenting burdens makes things ever so much easier!

7. I’m surviving The Upgrade. I’m still finding my way around everything, but each day gets a little easier. There are still things that need to be loaded on–I keep finding new needs when I go to use a program and there’s a “You Need to Load XYZ to use this”. But, in the end, it will be easier and faster and better and I’ll be glad I did it. I’m just not there yet!

The State of the Blogger

Hey People. I’ve missed you all! I know it’s my own fault, but sometimes, ok, many times I’ve passed by here not knowing what to post. Not wanting to just put down words for the sake of just having a post. That’s disrespectful of you and your time. I haven’t had any excellent recipes lately. No massive spiritual insight. Jim’s still working, thank the Good Lord. We’re still afloat. The kids are reasonably healthy, having a small stomach bug and a cavity. I have a new client starting on Saturday.

There. That’s the last two and a half weeks. Aren’t you edified?

One thing of note, I guess. As of tomorrow I will have 9 weeks of sobriety. That’s a satisfying number. I emailed the elder board and our pastor and asked to resume my deacon duties if they approve.

Our church is going through it’s “re-launch”. It’s been challenging with a different format, changing the way we worship, meeting expectations etc. But it’s also been nice to see visitors in the pews and someone, GASP, raising a hand during worship time.

You know, for YEARS I didn’t use my musical gift. I sat with the congregation, whether by my choice or someone else’s, and soaked up and enjoyed. On the one hand, there are times that I miss that–being able to get lost in worship. But on the other hand, being able to actually USE my voice and my piano playing for God’s glory is amazing. Now, the piano ain’t nearly as good as the voice, but it’s decent enough. My wish each week is that I don’t get in the way of the congregation worshipping.  I don’t want them to focus–for good or for bad (i.e. “wow, she has a great voice!” or “wow, she really messed that up” or “boy, I wish we could have someone else up there!”).

I know some of you help lead worship. Are you able to worship at the same time?

Keeping Count

With Jim traveling so much, I find myself constantly counting (ok, he’s been in South Carolina for three days. That means we just have two more to get through and he’ll be home!).

The first three weeks with NH were pretty ok. Really. Then we had a week where he worked in PA, although we didn’t manage to see him that much. He’s working days at an office and evenings from his home office (which, by the way, is in the garage where it’s quiet!).  This week it’s SC and next week it’s NH again. We talked for literally five minutes total yesterday–a very brief good morning on his way to work and a very brief good night before I went to bed.

It’s starting to get more difficult. We’re missing each other–even just the physical presence of each other. I miss having his parenting to help out. I miss cooking for someone who appreciates it. How in the world do you single moms do this??

I’m keeping busy. Karate, bless its heart, is helping. We’re doing three times this week and next so Catie can test for gold belt. We thought she’d test next month, so we’re having to play a little catch up with the things she needs to know (Student Creed and 7 Home Rules). Hey, I don’t think I’ve ever posted the creed. I really like it (by now I know it by heart!)

To build true confidence through knowledge in the mind, honesty in the heart and strength in the body. To keep friendship with one another and to build a strong and happy community. Never fight to achieve selfish ends but to develop might for right. Pilsung! (which means certain victory).

I’m meeting today with a financial planner. We have a 401k from his old work, but need to start thinking about how to plan for the future now that he’s self-employed.

If you are a praying sort, please keep us in your prayers. I really miss my husband.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Hello All from weather-confused PA! We’ve had sunny and 80′s and yesterday morning had snow. I admit to looking forward to late April and May, where it’s just warm spring instead of weird spring.

2. Jim is asleep in his own bed right now, and all is right with the world. Ok, my world. Week 2 of New Hampshire is finished. We definitely have one more week; after that we don’t know what’s going on. I’m ok with that. With two weeks under our collective belts, I know we can handle more if necessary. Sure, the single-parenting aspect gets old. I can’t imagine how military families do it–my hats off to you men and women who hold down the home forts for upwards of a year at a time while your spouse serves.

3. In Boo-Boo updates, Laura is able to make a loose fist and doesn’t need the splint anymore. Bennett seems to be on the mend as well, so we’re ending the week much better than we started it.

4. With having karate during the week, we’re back to “movie night” on Fridays. Last night we watched Despicable Me, which was excellent. Tonight is Mega Mind, which I think will be somewhat similar. I think they’re ready for Indiana Jones, but Jim says no–those melting faces at the end would be too much.

5. Our church is going through a lot of changes–leadership, name, structure…just a bunch of things going on. For someone who isn’t overly fond of change, it’s a lot to deal with at once! I keep repeating “Change is good. Change is good. Change is good.” to convince myself to be more comfortable.

6. Freecycle is such a great place to get rid of things you don’t want and to find things you need. I’m much more of a get-rid-of type, but this week I scored twice: sparring pads for Bennett and snowpants and boots for Laura for next winter! WooHoo! Free stuff that we actually need!

7. As of today, I’ve been sober for four weeks. It’s been good. Not that I like to, but I wonder if sometimes it’s not a good thing to fall flat on my face. It reminds me–brutally–that I can’t do this on my own. That I am powerless and need God to get through this thing called addiction. Long-term sobriety is excellent and wonderful and I love it, but one can get, shall we say, a little cocky. Which is stupid.

And on that note, I’ll wish you all a great weekend. If you have one, go and hug your spouse. Just because you can.

Employment

Jim starts work on Wednesday. In Connecticut. We’re in PA, which is five hours away. He’ll be there Monday through Friday. I’m trying to be thankful, because after all this time it’s work and money and that’s good. But I’m not there yet.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. So if you look carefully, you will see no posts  between LAST Friday’s 7QT’s and today’s 7QT’s. See #1 from last week? That stomach bug? Ethan left school last Thursday and didn’t go back until this Thursday. Bennett left school on Monday and is going back today. Jim has it. Having lots of people around during the day–a time when I am normally quite alone–makes for not much regular stuff happening. I apologize. However, to be fair, not a whole lot happened anyway. Just lots of changing of Ethan’s pullups and being very grateful that Bennett is potty trained and, of course, so is my husband. As a side note, the boys are 9. Ethan is special needs. Pullups are a part of our lives.

2. Back story: Jim quit his job back on November 5, 2010. He talked to many recruiters. One put him in contact with a consulting firm, who thought he was perfect for a job at one of their clients. The job would start the middle of December. Oh, wait. No, now it’s the beginning of January. Hang on, sorry, no, it will absolutely positively be the beginning of February. Oh, um, sorry, but the job fell through. Yes, folks. 3 months and we are back to square numero uno. He’s doing some “side work” (helping with someone’s computer, painting a kitchen) and is recontacting all those recruiters. Please pray, will you, that he finds a job–any job!–SOON.

3. I visited my local post office the other day and decided to take a look at the bulletin board on my way out.  There are all sorts of things posted there (my business card included). I hit a jackpot–there is a card for uninsured and underinsured (of which I currently am a member) for 24% off prescriptions sponsored by the National Association of Counties. Well, Thank You NACO! I just checked this morning and my local pharmacy, whom I love, accepts the card!

4. Bennett is finally not the last in line at karate. (for those not involved in it, they line up in order of belt color–highest to lowest) There was a new boy there who just tonight tested for his white belt–Bennett will test for his gold belt in two weeks. I’m slightly nervous. Apparently the belt-testing night is two hours long. Yikes! I thought he just did it and we could leave. Nope.

5. May I express to you how lovely it was to be HOME ALONE today? The peace, the quiet, the lack of TV, DS, music, fighting, running around, calling “mom!” etc was, quite simply, DIVINE. I’m very thankful that everyone is back to normal and that the fringe benefit is that everyone goes back to their regularly scheduled life.

6. Tomorrow we are celebrating my MIL’s birthday. It’s a banner one, and no, I’m not rude enough to announce it, but it will be friends and family coming over to her house and bringing appetizers and cake. Should be an excellent time of hanging out and eating great food.

7. I looked out the window today and I could actually see GRASS! We had rain and a few warm days and then back to frigid, but with only 5 weeks left until Spring, oh, I really hope that we’ve seen the last of the snow storms. Winter is my least favorite season, although, I must say that having a mudroom made this winter less annoying than any other year before. And in case you read over that sentence too quickly, I will say it again.

5 weeks until Spring!

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. It’s been quite a week around here. Last Friday 1/2 day. Monday no school for MLK day. Tuesday snow day. Wednesday 2 hr delay. Thursday regular school day. Friday (today), 2 hour delay. They’re calling for more snow next week. CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!

2. How do you homeschooling mama’s do it? I love my children and would die for them, but oh, the joy of watching them get on the school bus every day cannot compare!

3. Pursuant to #1, I haven’t done a whole lot around the house this week. Except, oh, FINISHED MY FEDERAL AND STATE TAXES. BOOYAH!! We’re getting a Whopping, huge, ridiculous amount back, unexpectedly. We’re one of those families who chooses to give too much so we have a nice amount to use for home improvements. We usually get a good amount. However, this year, well, we gave more than last year, made less (due to Jim’s leaving), and also did the home improvements that qualified for the energy credit thingy. Unfortunately, the government changed things at the end of the year and the IRS won’t be processing our return until at least mid-February. Which, frankly, STINKS. I got mine in incredibly early, I want to get my return incredibly early, too.

4. This will be, as far as I know, our last year for that return. With Jim’s self-employment we’ll be doing quarterly estimated taxes and then a payment at the end. Sigh.

5. A family member who had previously been in an independent-living facility is moving to an assisted living/nursing home facility. Required: Cleaning out her current home. This will be a fairly involved project.

6. We’re again having to fight the kids’ insurance company. Now that they are the primary insurance, they are denying some medication that Laura has been taking for 3 or 4 months to control her nighttime bedwetting (DDAVP). She doesn’t take pills (they cover the pills), but uses the nasal spray instead. I’m going to google “how to teach your kid to take pills” after I finish this post!

7. Our pastor’s wife, Summer, came over this week. We were talking about my organizing business and my lack of marketing knowledge. She jumped right in with some great ideas–it seems that this is one of her “gifts”–being an “Idea Person”. LOVED IT! One of them was a newsletter…I’ve already finished the first draft and am waiting for her editor remarks. I’d love to be working now, but other than word-of-mouth, which all of my business has come from, I really struggle with how to get my name out there. So, if y’all need someone, drop me a line!