Bathing Suit Shopping, or…My Day in Hell

Let’s start this off with some honesty.

I am short. What fashion people call petite. 5′ 1 1/2″.

I am ample of bosom. 36 F . What bra companies call 36DDD (for some unknown reason)

Due to many reasons, I am overweight. I do not currently know my weight because I lack the intestinal fortitude to get on the scale.

I am unable to fit in last year’s bathing suit because I have gained weight. I figured I would just buy a new bottom for my tankini and be good, but then this morning I tried on my top and, well, was NOT good. I got a pair of board shorts yesterday that fit, so that’s good. I tried to buy a top at WalMart yesterday. NOT GOOD. L/XL did not fit.

So I figured, go to Landsend.com and see what they have. And amazingly, they have bathing suits by cup size, as in DDD!

Except the four tankinis that came that way were on backorder in my size. And none would ship before we left for Disney IN TEN DAYS.

Enter Google. “Tankini Top 36DDD” “Tankini Top 36F”

No, thank you, I don’t want to dress like a streetwalker. Maybe if I was built like the models I might, but I’m built like me and it would not be attractive. Thankyouverymuch.

Oooh! There’s a pretty one! And it’s “only” $54.99 (by far the cheapest one!). I call the 1800 number of the company and hear a funny double ring and the voice who answers is clearly British. Um, where are you? England? Really? How long would it take for this to get to me? 5 to 8 business days? As in, maybe not before I left for Disney IN TEN DAYS!? Oh, thank you anyway.

Sigh. Look some more. Notice that for some reason, many, many companies that offer tankinis in my size are in England. Are English women more amply endowed than American women?

Finally give up. Take Laura to her hair appointment and run next door to the Fashion Bug. Nice young (YOUNG) woman is taller but built like I am. We pick out four tops–Whoa. That’s some cleavage! No thank you, no thank you, no thank you, and no thank you. Try a 16W. Close, but not yet. Try and 18W.

We have lift off! Better yet, we have something that fits, COVERS things and looks decent. It’s still $44.99, which is horrifying, but hey, I GOT IT BEFORE DISNEY!

Which of You by Worrying Can Add a Single Hour to Your Life?

So. Laura’s MRI went off without a hitch. She did fabulously well–laying still for about an hour. Then we met with the surgeon, who again examined her, only more thoroughly this time. Then he asked about her activities.

??? I thought. School, piano lessons, DS, TV, playing like a regular kid.

Because, apparently, her pain follows the bone line between her legs (the ischium) and is common with horseback riding, or pro bicycle riding. Obviously things Laura does not do.

He wants us to see a rheumatologist, which we are doing tomorrow at DuPont in Delaware. I just couldn’t do that drive to CHOP one more time. This past visit it took us 1 hr 45 mins to get there. DuPont about an hour away.

He said in two of the last six cases of this kind of pain it was autoimmune. I didn’t know what that meant, but have since learned he meant arthritis. She’s also experiencing pain in both her feet, so that lends itself to the diagnosis as well. I haven’t been this nervous about a doctor appointment in YEARS–since they were little, little ones and all their medical problems were at their height. We’ve had such smooth sailing for so many years that I’m out of practice with this.

If you are a pray-er, please pray for Laura.

First Day at Snap Fitness

I’m currently on rubber band legs. At least, though, I’m not feeling woowoo anymore.

Whew!

First day there! I had fun. I worked hard for my first day on a treadmill in about 13 years (or so). I walked for 20 minutes (plus about a minute of cool down), equaling 1.12 miles. Then I sat on one of those gimundo balls and stretched back (owner showed me how) and stretched my thighs and calves. It felt GOOD.

Then I headed over to the ab coaster. No, that is not me in the picture. I am a girl. However, I would like those muscles someday!

It felt a little too easy until the trainer showed me how to do it. Then my face started pouring sweat. I did about 5 or so on it. Then he had me try out their pullup assist machine. (WordPress is currently freaking out, so I can’t post a picture of it. But here’s the link: http://www.fullfitness.net/sites/default/files/assisted_pull_up.jpg

Trust me when I tell you I would be completely unable to pull up 165 lbs. No WAY. But their machine is clever. It TAKES AWAY WEIGHT, so you only pull up what you can handle. I first tried 60 lbs off. Too hard. Then he did 100 lbs. Too easy. I did four pullups on 70 lbs and was REALLY puffing. (meaning, I pulled up 95 lbs)

All in all, a terrific first day. I’m definitely going back tomorrow.

Wellness Update

So I’ve talked about the fact that I joined a gym. I signed the paperwork and yesterday picked up my card thingy to unlock the door. I was ready to jump out of bed this morning and hit the treadmills.

Except.

Last night I stayed up til 11 reading. No biggie. I’ve done that many times.

Except.

4am. I woke up. WIDE AWAKE. Two hours early. I laid there. I pet my cat (who moved from my feet to my head so I could reach better). I rolled over. Repeatedly. I jumped (the cat did too) at the books that fell off the bookcase for no discernible reason. I laid there some more. I prayed. Finally, around 5:30 or so I think I fell back asleep. For my 6am alarm.

(insert geometry triangle dot thing that means therefore) I’m not going to SnapFitness this morning.

So there.

However, I will go on record with what I’m beginning with. I don’t know as I have the courage right now for a picture, but words work as well.

I am 5′ 1.5″ tall. I weigh 165 lbs. My BMI is 31.2. According to WebMD, “a BMI of 30 and above is considered obese.” I don’t think I LOOK obese, but I’m definitely rounded and fluffy in places that I’d rather be slim and curvy instead. I wear a size 12 pants and a Large top. I’d like to make those at least an 8 and a medium.

So there you have it. The beginning of my journey to a smaller more healthier me. It’s going to be a fun ride!

Taking a Quick Break

I’m in the middle of rearranging the furniture in the office. That would be my desk and two filing cabinets. And assorted items on my desk. Instead of my back facing the door, now my side will. This makes turning my head to see what devilment my little not-angels are up to so much easier. Plus they don’t have to look at my back all the time.

 

Oh, and I wanted to go on record as saying that I signed the paperwork at SnapFitness this morning. I am officially a member of a gym. Whoa. The undersides of arms are getting a little scared. They like all the flapping. I hate the flapping. HATE IT.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Wow. THAT week flew by! Did everyone notice more posts from me, didja, huh, didja? I am trying to do what I said I’d do!!

2. We went to bed in summer and woke up firmly in fall. I LOVE IT. It was 40 when I got up. It’s supposed to go up to 65 today. This summer wasn’t HORRIBLE, but Fall is just way better. Plus, we only had ONE DAY of rain this week. That, after all we’ve had, is a miracle!

3. One of my favorite authors, Gayle Roper, just put out a new book. I LOVE when that happens! Shadows on the Sand is a good read, well written and worth it. If you are broke, just head to your local library!

4. T minus 3 weeks and counting for our anniversary getaway. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this. This is what we’ll be doing on Saturday. Doesn’t it look FUN?! Yeah, I know, I need to get out more.

5. I had the honor and privilege of delivering food to a family that had none this week. N. O. N. E. The father of five opened his fridge and showed me two shelf-stable cartons of milk. That was it. Our organization, the Parkesburg Churches Community Outreach, is getting more and more requests. The economy is really hitting so many people hard! Having been close to that this year, I’m very grateful for Jim’s job!

6. I just started reading a new book, The PCOS Diet Plan. I’ve known I had PCOS for more than 11 years now. When I was diagnosed with prediabetes, I made some immediate changes in my diet to started medication to treat it and am now no longer considered prediabetic. However, part of PCOS is having insulin resistance. And a lot of those changes I made those many years ago have ceased. I’ve already said I need to lose weight. I also need to take better care of myself, nutritionally. I’m hoping this book is a good place to start.

7. I’m going in, folks. Today is the day that I delve into the bins of children’s clothes and figure out what they have and what they need. This is, hands down, one of my least favorite things to do. If you don’t hear from me by tomorrow, send in a search part!

8. Oh, and I’m adding this quick “awkward parent conversation” as an extra. Backstory: Laura was too vigorous with the soap between her legs and ended up with some major irritation in her urethra. Water, Tylenol, bath with baking soda…all fine. While I was trying to describe where her urethra was, she asks “what’s the thing in the middle?”

I’m really hoping it’s just her vagina, but I asked “you mean the thing that sticks out?”

“Yes.” oh joy. Boys are so much easier!

“That’s your clitoris”

“What’s it do?”

Jim’s in the living room (we’re in the kitchen) and starts laughing. The jerk.

“Um….it’s for when you’re married. It’s for sex.”

“Oh.” Thank goodness no more questions!

It’s Working! It’s Working!

Day #3 of Byetta and I’m starting to notice it. Felt that lovely nausea, but also complete lack of hunger. I ate about 1/2 of my lunch because I knew I should, not because I was hungry. That’s good in my book!

For the sake of complete honesty, and because I want to track it, my starting weight is 154. (when I started almost two years ago it was 165, and I never went higher than I am now).

After the two hour delay (snow), I went and saw four houses. I actually LIKED one and sort of liked another. House #3 was on a huge hill and #4 was….um….very personalized. Apparently the female of the home called herself The Priestess and the male of the home loved her. How do I know this, you ask? Because they wrote it in chalk on the chalkboard paint they used on the soffet in the kitchen! Euuuuuu ::shiver:: I don’t want to know that!! They also had two very loving black cats, two very barky dogs and a parrot. Oh, and a sign warning that one of the barky dogs bites. And it was not in a cage/crate. Ummm…NO Thank You!

I’m not sure what we would do even if we actually liked one of these houses. It’s not as if we could put in an offer since our home isn’t on the market yet!

Germ Warfare

The germs are attacking our home. Right now the casualty list is three down, one wounded and two still fighting. Jim and Laura have a bad cold. Bennett has a cold and a stomach bug and keeps running for the bathroom. Ethan has a cold, but is able to go to school and Catie and I are somewhat healthy.

Makes for a lot of empty tissue boxes.

Just today I started Byetta again. The weight, which had been fairly stable, started to creep up in January (PMS eating never went away!). I’m on 5 mcg for 2-4 weeks and then bump up to 10. And, oh, I’m just waiting for the morning-sickness-like nausea to hit. I know it’s going to and dread it when it does. But the results are wonderful–I’m hoping to hit the mid 140′s or better.

Over the weekend Jim and I talked quite a bit about househunting and finances. Just because the bank would loan us 1/4 of his take home pay per month doesn’t mean we should accept that much! The end result is that we changed our parameters, lowering the amount we are willing to pay as well as the amount of acreage we are willing to settle for. It feels good!

So now I’m off to clean the kitchen, do laundry and grocery shopping and take care of some sickies.

About the Ta Tas

So who knew you could manipulate breasts into so many different positions just to flatten them? Seriously, that tech was amazing. And THANK YOU JESUS that it was a woman, because NO WAY would I ever let a man do that to me! And no, nothing HURT. There were certainly moments I was uncomfortable, but nothing–NOTHING–unbearable. So if you are putting off getting a mammogram because you think it will hurt, I promise it doesn’t!

After four films on one side and three on the other (in addition to the original two on each side from Monday), I was told that everything looked good, but that they still wanted to do the ultrasound on one spot. It was “thickened”, which is how it felt during my self-exam. The ultrasound was quick and only weird when they had me lie on my side while using the wand on the top of my breast. That felt uncomfortable. The tech agreed that even through the wand she could feel the bumpiness of the spot I was talking about. It ended up being just some dense tissue. ALL GOOD!

Thank you everyone for the prayers and well wishes. It will be good to go back to normal life and let my breasts become just another part of my body again.

Bedtime Thoughts

What is it about bedtime that allows the mind to go places it doesn’t go during the day? Two nights ago I just laid awake thinking about everything in general. Last night my mind went to: how would Jim find a wife after I’m gone because there’s no single women in our church. I mean, REALLY, COME ON!

Looking forward to tomorrow afternoon when this is all over.